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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Laddie the Amazing Torso Boy 2011-2020
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Author Archives: Joel
Back to the cattle waterer…
…goes the game camera. Left it there for two days, and… That’s all that happened. I guess I should be happy there were birds this time. Boy, that place jumped last winter. Now it’s dead as disco. But I know … Continue reading
Private to the person…
Who sent that maple syrup some months ago… Yum. Just saying. I don’t actually make pancakes very often because it’s a large hassle factor for one guy. Hassle factor is the principal reason for my usual breakfast of Spammo Classico. … Continue reading
Diane Feinstein touched me inappropriately!
There, I said it. It was sometime back when I was in grammar school, I think. Can’t quite recall. Other people saw it, though. Two people, or maybe four. But I said it, so it must be true. When’s her … Continue reading
One more coat, I think…
I spent the whole of yesterday morning going to town and schlepping hay with D&L, so never got back to the back door. First thing this morning after chicken chores I gave it a light sanding and a third coat … Continue reading
The babies are doing well…
…after their first night out of the cage. Actually I suspect they may have overnighted in the cage, since there were two or three in it when I visited this morning. But mostly they’re out and about. Like any flightless … Continue reading
There’s another bird in the woodstove…
😀 And it’s fluttering around in there driving Laddie batshit crazy. ETA: I opened the door, it flew out, and Laddie caught it! Wonder if that’s his first vertebrate kill?
Free the Chickenhouse Fourteen!
Sorry, guys. The Official TUAK IT Department had a major server crash, they’ve got expensive servers lying everywhere, dramatically holding their knees and groaning and wailing about Worker’s Comp. All these trays and broken champagne flutes everywhere…it’s a mess, but … Continue reading
Decided to go with varnish…
Exterior urethane, really. Couldn’t decide on a third color for the back door and finally decided I liked it the way it was, except the original varnish was pretty much gone. So first thing this morning I sanded down the … Continue reading
Could the east coast really be suffering under Hurricane Hillary?
Hey, it was supposed to be this great invincible thing, but it fizzled at the last minute – and now it just hangs around raining on everybody unbearably and seemingly forever. If it publishes a ghost-written book or three about … Continue reading
Ian has a new “worst gun in the world.”
Yeah, it’s tough competition. The Cobray Terminator is still pretty damned bad, and probably remains the worst shotgun. But in Ian’s revised opinion, the overall champion Worst Gun in the World may well be the USFA Zip .22. It’s not … Continue reading
Oh, this one is precious.
I can’t wait to see what this noose is made of, and how far it drops. Can I put my neck in it now? Please? From: Col. John R. Oxford, Jr. Hello, this is John R. Oxford, Jr. of the … Continue reading
And this, ladies and gents, is why you need a good holster.
And a belt to hold your pants up. And a (much much) better plan for your whole life. “Hey, mister! You dropped your gun!”
Stupid waterer
When there are chicks I have to go to Landlady’s place at least twice a day to check on them. They go through way more than one feeder’s worth of food per day, and then there’s troubles like this… I … Continue reading
Laddie Update
It’s a month to the day since Laddie moved in… …and we’re still getting used to each other. He’s not a youngster, he’s been through a lot of changes, and he’s not 100% comfortable with me. In fact – ironically, … Continue reading
Old man’s getting a belly.
Maybe start with formal exercise, maybe somewhat less bread in the diet… I had come to wonder if the game camera was even working. I’ve moved it around several times but it’s like all the wildlife has just gone away … Continue reading
Kind of an interesting point…
Americans born 17 years ago can now enlist to fight in a war that began before they were born. Of course we have loads more to do if we hope to top the worst examples of warlike foolishness in western … Continue reading
Breathtaking lack of self-awareness, the links edition
There’s a Breitbart video making the rounds (warning – it’s an hour long) of a Google “all hands” meeting which occurred directly after the – to them, disastrous – 2016 election. All participants either correctly or incorrectly assume that every … Continue reading
Huh. Pretty cool.
My two battery banks track each other within a few hundreds of a volt all the way up and all the way down.









































