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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Do you have a song that brings you to tears?
I think most of it is the voice. When she was young she had such a voice. Maybe some of it is that I have no memory of my mother. But at least a little of it is the … … Continue reading
One of the last chores of the season – Done!
I’m not talking out of turn, I think, when I say that Big Brother keeps forgetting I’m not an electrician. He has said so himself. On my best day I’m a sort of self-taught handyman. On my worst days sparks … Continue reading
How about a nice short story with your embezzlement
I like my morning spam to be entertaining. Read with understanding please: Please let this letter not to bring confusion to you. I know that we have not met either before but hear me from the depth of your mind. … Continue reading
Sorry, not having a good day…
Up at 3, couldn’t go back to sleep. Did chicken chores early, came back and napped till 9:30 to Laddie’s consternation. Out to town for the Monday water run and only now got things put away… I’m okay for fuel … Continue reading
I wondered, “What gun should I choose for self defense?” So naturally…
I consulted Noted Gun Expert David Hogg. Ah, the ever-useful straw man. It should be noted that our nation has not witnessed an onslaught of individuals claiming they have used AR-15s or other commonly owned semiautomatic rifles for self-defense from … Continue reading
Dammit, Joel!
I’ve been falling into a recurring bad pattern lately, where I don’t sleep well and then all I do all day is grump around and not accomplish anything. I like being busy, but the older I get the more sometimes … Continue reading
Maybe a big rubber mat…
A week ago, after that big rainy Saturday morning, I took another fall right on these wet boards. That boardwalk has been slick before but never dumped me; maybe it’s that I’m walking with the grain now rather than against … Continue reading
Getting the summer mess sorted out…
Finished the trim on the Lair’s back door, and that’s closing in on the last of the cabin-improving chores for the season. Still need to sand and paint the door itself, and connect a junction box under the cabin for … Continue reading
Moving day for the chicks!
The chicks are growing like little weeds, are nearly all feathered out, and are getting alarmingly athletic and increasingly impossible to keep in Ian’s shower. I could imagine how much fun I’d have chasing them around the cluttered interior of … Continue reading
It’s like that nice old guy down the street passed away…
…and you always wanted to get to know him better, maybe invite him over for a beer. But you never got around to it… George Austin, proprietor of the Guffaw in AZ blog, passed away a week or two ago … Continue reading
What is this plant?
It’s an annual in that the rootstock stays alive, though everything aboveground dies as the weather cools. It starts to sprout in mid-summer, usually around the start of Monsoon. It blooms promiscuously in the evening, the flowers closing as the … Continue reading
Back Door Trim
I was concerned at first that there wouldn’t be space for the top piece below the light box. Turns out there just barely was, leaving a space so slim I had to paint the top edge of the trim before … Continue reading
I really don’t get it. Gun people buy a helluva lot of jeans.
So where’s the upside for this decision of Levi Strauss management? Levi Strauss Forms Gun-Control Group with Bloomberg, Pushes Employees to Donate The clothing company said it would be partnering with Everytown for Gun Safety and Michael Bloomberg to form … Continue reading
Gad, that’s annoying…
I really thought I had the right fittings. This is the story of my life. Last weekend with Landlady’s visit I received the propane hoses I ordered several weeks ago, that would allow me to connect bottles to the new … Continue reading
Remember when people called the U.S. Senate the “World’s Greatest Deliberative Body…”
…and nobody laughed out loud? No? Well, neither do these people. Apparently now the Senate is just a new cosplay venue. Can’t quite tell if this is supposed to be a supreme court confirmation hearing or a war crimes tribunal. … Continue reading
The weather hates me.
We had four downpours Saturday morning, one after another. Judging from the way the washes behaved they were centered right here and also to the south, not so much to the east which would have made our wash flood. It … Continue reading
I really do have a morning post…
I do! I do! But it needs photos and the morning is getting away from me, so here’s a funny picture in the meantime.
Laddie, I was assured that you don’t like other dogs.
He mostly thinks Dharma is just fine. Which doesn’t mean he’s prepared to share. Shortly after I snapped that collegial shot she nosed toward his kibble – which was a sin against the guest rules, I guess. He growled at … Continue reading
Gifts from Ian’s travels
Ian came back from Finland lately and look what he gave me! A stretchy wool hoodie in my favorite color. Why, just being in the same room with it makes me want to do something badass, like tell Stalin to … Continue reading
I get the impression, sometimes, that PETA doesn’t play the propaganda game well.
I’m no one to judge, of course. I can’t play it at all. But still, it shouldn’t be possible to turn a message around quite this effortlessly…









































