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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
I am a man of constant sorrow…
Okay, maybe not. But lately I’m a man of constant aggravation. I pulled something in my back Monday, feels like my left shoulder blade isn’t right and it’s causing pain like a nerve pinch all through my arm. Hard to … Continue reading
Sigh. A Plan B for well water is not hard to find…
…in fact sometimes the problem is to avoid it. There’s an old well at the cattle watering station beside the wash. Due to some geological oddity I don’t understand, it’s shallow enough to pump with a windmill. I dipped it … Continue reading
Walter Williams brings the wisdom on gun control
Guns and Past Vs. Present Americans: Inconvenient facts about the history of gun violence and gun control. The logic of the argument for those calling for stricter gun control laws, in the wake of recent school shootings, is that something … Continue reading
LB stamp of approval
For obvious reasons, LB has problems with the heat. But he’s also unhappy being outdoors by himself – he stopped wanting to go outside the very day Ghost moved away – and so for the past couple of years his … Continue reading
Bigoted gun bloggers mock indigenous FBI agent practicing his cultural traditions
Much vile right wing hatred has been spewed toward the Brave Agent of our beloved Federal Bureau of Investigation, recently recorded giving praise to the memory of J. Edgar Hoover in spirited dance. Some have gone so far as to … Continue reading
“How did I use seventeen gallons…”
“Oh – wait. One of those is new. I used fourteen gallons of water last week. Still – that’s a lot.” Goes inside and kicks dog. “Dammit, Little Bear!” LB and I have suddenly started sucking down the water. Guess … Continue reading
That’s better.
Fixed the catwalk and stairs this morning. The stairs are ugly but in good repair. I already knew the catwalk was held together with inertia and old memories, so it needed a complete rebuild. Since it was only to be … Continue reading
“The good people of California may sleep safely in their beds, for rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would try to obey their laws.”
Or something like that. Or maybe “This is what happens when you register your guns.” California Farmer Charged With 12 Felonies After Trying To Register His Guns Bakersfield, CA – A member of a prominent farming family was charged with … Continue reading
Summer’s first hot day
The outdoor temp briefly touched 100o yesterday afternoon. With not much wind, the cabin was stifling. The new porch promptly taught me what I knew all along, that having a sittin’ porch was just going to make me immediately jones … Continue reading
“With this new hard hat,” he said, “my head will be safe.”
2,000 years later… It was, in his defense, a very bad day for everybody.
Comfy shirt day
Oh, I’m moving slow this morning. It’s quarter to eight and I haven’t even had breakfast. Didn’t even wake up till almost six, and only Little Bear and a conscience got me out of bed. I had a lot of … Continue reading
Tired now.
If I’d had one more eight-footer I could have done a thing. As it is I’ll cut them all to just over banister length and put those redwood caps on them, then paint them red. Three will still serve well … Continue reading
Poor, long-suffering Little Bear…
Okay, so I’ve been working all morning, making slow but steady progress when I run into a problem: All the supports are straight, all the joists are level but it turns out nothing is particularly square to the building. Finally … Continue reading
Does this qualify as dumbing down?
It is a little-known fact that Piper Kerr’s propensity for wearing a kilt on an icefield was not his only peculiarity.
Adventures in ennui and materialism
So this morning D&L and I got together early for a flying trip to the big town about 50 miles away. There were at first literally only two stops: Drop L off at Wally World while D and I ran … Continue reading
Work slower, not stupider, Joel.
Okay, so I confess I’ve developed something of a reluctance to begin the porch project because it seemed to me that once committed I had to ride the thing to completion in a single session. The very first step was … Continue reading
Yeah, I know. I should just ignore him.
But in my world a target that’s both loathsome and easy to hit is going to draw a lot of fire. Hogg tweeted: Remeber a time when there wasn’t a school shooting every week? I don’t because I wasn’t alive. … Continue reading
Literally perfect symbolism of why you don’t put a 16-year-old in charge of anything
I saw that pic yesterday and instantly wanted a copy blown up to poster size. Been thinking of decorating the Lair bedroom, and a poster of adults stepping over the “die-in” kids seemed kind of perfect somehow. I wonder if … Continue reading
And there you go.
Took two working days longer than I wanted, but I pretty much knew I was hosed when I had to go to town for bolts and bits and blades. Because that wasn’t going to happen before Monday. But LB and … Continue reading









































