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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
A quick word on dehydration…
Early on in each year’s building season I usually have a little encounter with dehydration, just to remind me that the issue doesn’t go away over the winter, it just sort of hibernates. Doesn’t usually happen as early as April, … Continue reading
I’m not sure there’s a significant difference…
Seen this morning at a breakfast restaurant on the way to the big town about 50 miles away…
Private to the Generous Reader who sent that nylon rope last year…
I’ve kept it in the Jeep’s gear bag, reasoning that if a need arose for a length of really kickass rope it would likely happen around the Jeep. But no need sufficiently urgent appeared, and I certainly wasn’t going to … Continue reading
Yup. Three years and out for camo net.
Sorry, I had this all ready to go first thing this morning but my connection went away. Then we’ve been busy till now. But yeah: The last windstorm (peak gusts 63 mph, which is a respectable gale) did the last … Continue reading
Front flashing done
For years I’ve been a little reluctant to post pics of the front of the Secret Lair, because of its rather comical shortcomings in the roof flashing department. Got tired of the “You’re supposed to have drip molding up there, … Continue reading
Dammit! That is precisely what I was trying to avoid…
I’ve carefully avoided wearing my new BDU trous during painting sessions, but forgot to switch to old boots before yesterday afternoon… Ah, well. It does no real harm. It’s the principle of the thing, I suppose…
Oh, things turned very very windy this morning…
Fortunately we were at a Tractor Supply yesterday, and I finally remembered to get a heavier-duty throwbolt latch for the chicken house door, one that can bolt right through the door instead of just adding new drywall screws for the … Continue reading
So you’re coming to take my guns? Okay, but here are my conditions…
Photographic proof that Uncle Joel really does live in the middle of nowhere…
Spent a very great deal of time in the car today. And coming home, BB’s car presented me with proof that I have indeed ended up in my perfect promised land.
“You should open packages when I send them, you know.”
So yesterday we got a lot done but couldn’t reach completion because neither of us knew how to miter an inside corner on crown molding. If I’d just bought a bunch of baseboard and used that at the ceiling we … Continue reading
In a follow-up communique, …
…a Dick’s Sporting Goods spokesperson announced that their entire remaining inventory of “assault weapons” had been lost in a tragic canoing accident. Yeah, that would be funny. Instead, Dick’s went full dick. After announcing policies that most gun owners saw … Continue reading
Gettin’ stuff done
Got an early start, finishing up yesterday’s work… A little figgerin’ out still required on the ceiling fan, but when we were done… …it works! It’s a little weird, but it works. Need to kind of reach through spinning blades … Continue reading
In spite of weather, got some stuff done.
It’s cold and blowy even by my standards, and Big Brother comes from a much more nearly tropical state than here. So the plan was to do indoor stuff as much as possible. I did set up the generator and … Continue reading
Guess where I’m typing from?
Can’t get pictures to this computer (yet), but we did figure out how to get this old Compaq laptop BB sent me a few years ago to connect to the hotspot. Which makes it a viable Plan B at last. … Continue reading
Big Brother arrived yesterday…
Safe and well, and presumably happy to be off the road for a bit. One of the things we needed to work out was his degree of actual desert mobility. He has a hybrid SUV, which – as we have … Continue reading
Bored? Why not take a moment and conquer England?
You probably have just the weapon for it right in your toolbox. You terrorist, you. 😉
“Omigod! Who doesn’t love a glitter phone case?”
I’m afraid I pressure-tested my cerebral arteries first thing this morning. I’ve become somewhat addicted fond of this damned iPhone I previously spent so many years laughing at, to the point where I use it for entertainment/instruction during otherwise routine … Continue reading









































