Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

The one big disadvantage of a camo net over your chicken yard…

…they hold a lot more snow than you might think. So you need to be sure the weight of the snow won’t pull down whatever the net is suspended from. I know this – now – and sadly I also … Continue reading

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Sometimes people give me stuff, I dunno why…

Can’t be my sparkling personality. I stood in front of a mirror this morning and realized with a start that every stitch I was wearing, excepting long johns and boots but including undershorts, socks, coat and even the hat, were … Continue reading

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Private to female political protesters…

Could I make a bargain with you? How’s this: For the next four years I’ll keep my penis in my pants, and you keep your vagina off the signs you wave around. Because really. Ladies. Stop. Also, in what way … Continue reading

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“Gun Violence Activists” love states’ rights. “Gun Violence Activists” have always loved states’ rights.

Mark Kelly* dragged his trusty stuffed Gabby Giffords doll to yet another microphone to make an amazing announcement: Laws that aren’t anti-gun are evil. I say again: Laws that aren’t anti-gun are evil. Write it down and get it right … Continue reading

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If your dog likes to clean out the cans for you…

…You might want to consider picking up one of these. I’m sorry, I don’t recall who sent me this. It arrived late December just as the ‘going to the city’ craziness was going on, so I paid it little mind … Continue reading

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Check this out…

I can’t stay, it’s the most dramatically wintery day we’ve had all through this freakishly warm, drama-free winter. I’ve squeegeed off the solar panels three times so far today. The batteries are actually in very good shape, but that’s because … Continue reading

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This is the kind of winter day I used to enjoy…

…snowy but not real cold. Just made for a book and a mocha by the window of your nice warm cabin. To those who have helped the Gulch turn the corner from shivering under blankets in that corner to sitting … Continue reading

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Welcome to the next chapter in our interesting times…

And part of me says… But the sensible part of me says… Also – because it just can’t be said too often – Hillary Clinton will never be president.

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For the record, I didn’t hang that door…

I recently laid down a bunch of new straw in Landlady’s Big Chickenhouse. Chickens love to scratch straw around looking for goodies, and 13 chickens can scratch a lot of straw. It’s not unusual for me to find it difficult … Continue reading

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I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a gun so damned by faint praise…

This must be what gun writer hell is like. You’re being paid to say something nice about a shit sandwich of a gun. Also, it’s SHOT Show so you’re on deadline. The result… Shot Show: Kel-Tec Still at Max Capacity … Continue reading

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The replacement is hardly guaranteed to be a big improvement, but still…

You’ve got to take your pleasures where you may. Also, Hillary Clinton will never be president.

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Five in the morning as winter returns…

I haven’t slept well the past couple of nights, as this bum shoulder sometimes still keeps me awake. Finally gave up around five to find we’re enjoying the first cold night since I got back from the big city two … Continue reading

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Ghost has always sort of been a grumpy old man…

Now in his thirteenth year he’s just growing into the role. We went on the usual easy walky around the horseshoe turn in the wash to the north of the Lair. Toward the end Ghost saw a cottontail and gave … Continue reading

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Hey, kids! Wanna make a quick buck?

Get paid fighting against Trump! Demand Protest is the largest private grassroots support organization in the United States. We pay people already politically motivated to fight for the things they believe. You were going to take action anyways, why not … Continue reading

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Good news, fellow dissidents!

BREAKING NEWS: Dissent is no longer racist, it's patriotic again. pic.twitter.com/lBz5jr1iqC — Jason C. (@CounterMoonbat) January 17, 2017 A diverse group of lock-stepping progs clutching a flag (and kinda dragging it on the ground a little, there, guys,) hath declared … Continue reading

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Thinking about the bedroom addition…

Long-time readers know that the Secret Lair is cunningly equipped with a sleeping loft accessible only by climbing a vertical 10′ ladder. Which ladder started looking like a very bad idea on the evening of the day Uncle Joel fell … Continue reading

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Russian hackers sent me some sun.

They’re just trying to make me look inconsistent. But now all I want to do is sit here and read. Bother.

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Private to Claire: I found your weather.

It’s in my yard and won’t go away. Please come get it or I’m taking it to the pound to be euthanized. When I got up this morning I could see stars! I could see the moon! Maybe today I’d … Continue reading

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Temp in the high thirties, ick dripping from every branch…

It’s another fine morning in the Pacific Northwet, which has magically been transported here to the southwest high desert for reasons probably having something to do with bad things I did in a previous life. Or this life, maybe. I … Continue reading

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That’s no way to start a morning…

Washington State has come to the high desert. Cold. Wet. Drizzly. Foggy. Seriously? Oy. AND I left the powershed door propped open all night, which was only annoying until I played back why I’d been in there last, and then … Continue reading

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