Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

We should address America’s lack of sufficient common sense politician safety laws.

Of course Obama considers that no problem at all. Obama is a far more noble creature than I, he wants to render everybody except would-be rulers defanged and helpless. …the one area where I feel that I’ve been most frustrated … Continue reading

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Barbara Boxer, poster girl for term limits, blathers on about politics as a ‘noble profession.’

Just go away. If politics is noble, the sleaziest prostitutes should be shoo-ins for canonization.

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I’ll go ahead and confess that the Williams-Sonoma store was one of the things I liked about being Mr. Suburban Man.

But yeah, even then – and we’re talking 25-30 years ago here – there was a bunch of silly stuff. Back then my eyes just sort of passed over without seeing it. They also had good solid kitchen tools that … Continue reading

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Remarkable how well so many of life’s little hassles just go away…

…when you drop a big rock on them. I’ve noticed that new laying hens don’t get the concept of ‘nesting box’ right away. They tend to just drop their eggs wherever they happen to be when the strange sensation catches … Continue reading

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My little girls are growing up!

There are thirteen pullets in the Big Chickenhouse at Landlady’s place, and so far all they’ve been good for is vacuuming up food pellets. But my records – and it’s funny that I was just re-checking those this morning – … Continue reading

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Hanging on in quiet desperation is not just the English way.

But seriously, I remember when I thought maybe the road to a satisfied life was to find a career I could really lose myself in. Found one, too, only it turned out a brick in a wall was a model … Continue reading

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George Washington: Except for the slavery and the treason, what a guy!

I’ve never had actual eggnog in my life, it seems. And at my age, I might not walk away from the experience. One quart cream, one quart milk, one dozen tablespoons sugar, one pint brandy, 1/2 pint rye whiskey, 1/2 … Continue reading

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First thought: I want to find people willing to pay me $1/stick for firewood.

Second thought: But then I’d be surrounded by idiots. Third thought: But I actually bought a few of these, back in the foggy mists of time when I was alone in a company-paid apartment in Socal that had a fireplace. … Continue reading

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Ah, Cuba. Land of socialist enchantment.

I wish I’d thought of this. But it’s more funny as an accident. The Russian-made jeep ferrying Castro’s ashes broke down and needed to be pushed on Saturday en route to the late leader’s final resting place. The breakdown of … Continue reading

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How do Kindle files work?

Yeah, I know I vowed not to be sucked into the Kindle vortex. But just when I was craving some old-fashioned space opera, Amazon waved a week’s worth of E. E. Smith under my nose for 99 cents. C’mon, I’m … Continue reading

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Just reboot it from time to time and you’ll be fine.

You’ve got your computer problems and I’ve got mine, but the flight crews of Boeing 787 airliners apparently have us all beat. The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) is issuing a rule requiring urgent attention by operators of Boeing’s 787 Dreamliner … Continue reading

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Ever since the first time I found myself broke and hungry…

…an experience whose memory I do not cherish, a repeat of which I do not crave… I have devoted a lot of effort to making certain of two things: I know what is really necessary for the (at least reasonably) … Continue reading

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Pretty sure I killed the wrong rodent…

Stands to reason. I’ve probably been feeding a multitude with all those chicken pellets. But unless there’s something seriously wrong with its colon, that little deermouse hasn’t been leaving rat-size droppings in the feeder.

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Ol’ Seamstress Joel…

Spent the morning re-doing a keyboard gig I thought I’d finished. Went for one last pass before sending it to the customer, and found myself looking at a completely corrupted text document I couldn’t read at all. I don’t think … Continue reading

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Dammit! Missed.

I hate freezing in the dark. I’d much rather freeze in the light, which is why it has become a tradition for me to sleep as late as I can in winter, at least until the sky is light. But … Continue reading

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I guess it’s hunting season…

Things got off to an unusually busy start this cold December morning with a call from New Full-time Neighbor L*: “Mom and I were just going out to the car when four guys in a pickup drove right up to … Continue reading

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I think that’s, like, three-sided karma.

I’ve been taking my laundry to S&L’s on Mondays lately, weather permitting. Of course to operate a washing machine – and I would imagine especially a dryer – off-grid you need a lot of sun. So this week she said … Continue reading

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Oh please don’t unfriend me, Ms. Apologist for Terrorists

I wonder if that’s her indian name? Apologizes for Terrorists – has a ring to it, no? Like a bell made of lead. No word of compassion for all those innocent people he tried to murder. Y’know, back when my … Continue reading

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“There is no fundamental right to literacy.”

There is a state requirement that students attend school. Apparently there is no corresponding requirement that the school teach the students anything. Armed with only that information, already I knew we were talking about my home town of Detroit: Patron … Continue reading

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Yeah, that’s pretty bad…

Seriously, I’ve had it with “active shooter” scares that exist to set us up for another six weeks of because yesterday here we went again… Buckeye Alert: Active Shooter on campus. Run Hide Fight. Watts Hall. 19th and College. — … Continue reading

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