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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Is “whilst” even a word in American English?
Why, when I was your age we said “while.” And we liked it that way. This has to do with a possible (recurring!) paying gig I’m rather anxious to land. Apparently people in the Commonwealth say whilst a lot. What’s … Continue reading
Morning!
Glorious – if rather cold – morning. Yesterday was a complete mess. Sun never once came out, heavy overcast with lots of wind, snow started at dusk, lots more wind and a little snow overnight. But this morning is one … Continue reading
The one big advantage of ground mount…
Winter has arrived at the Gulch. Cold, wind, and our first sprinkling of snow… This already-melting dusting wouldn’t be worth any action if it were on the panels on my roof. In fact it’s worse on the panels on my … Continue reading
Adventures in completely missing the point
Various police-stroking organizations hope they’ll have better luck with Trump than they ever did with Obama. Unfortunately they probably will. Clutching to his breast that ol’ false dichotomy, Obama’s condemnation of police abuses far too often took the form of … Continue reading
Okay, so among other things Summer 2016 will be remembered as that time…
…when rats discovered the delicious, delicious taste of extension cords. And the trouble with that is that Landlady’s continued water supply in winter requires a heat tape on the cistern’s outlet pipe. Which is about 35 feet from the nearest … Continue reading
Hey, you wanna see what happens when you try to cut through a stucco wall with a hole saw?
And now, a word from the TUAK Department of Entreaties to Divine Personages
The mule deer have returned!
…from wherever they’ve been. I stopped seeing deer sign well over a year ago when the cattlemen fixed the watering station and drove a bunch of cattle into my part of the desert, far from the county road. Last summer … Continue reading
What to do about those awful guns on Thanksgiving…
From the wise gray solons at NYT… My brother-in-law is a police officer. He carries a gun, even off duty. He comes to visit us once a year. I told my sister I do not feel comfortable having a gun … Continue reading
Irony fail
Black Lives Matter Plans To Block White-Owned Businesses On Black Friday Black Lives Matter and other groups plan to block white-owned Chicago stores on Black Friday to bring awareness about police shootings, economic issues and alleged racism. Tell me which … Continue reading
Check out my unexpected care package!
It missed last weekend’s pickup apparently by hours, but came up today by an unusual channel. And I don’t know who to thank for this by name, there’s a name on the return address but it doesn’t connect in my … Continue reading
…If you want to deep-conceal a full size 9mm…
Via Uncle. My first thought was “The derp, it burns.” But then I thought of situations in California, where I sometimes went without a gun because I feared the cops more than any other possible danger I might encounter, but … Continue reading
Not the coldest it’s been so far…
…but thanks to all that rain we got on Monday we’ve had our first heavy frost. Everything is coated in ice, which will be gone the moment it feels the touch of sun or the temp climbs ten degrees. The … Continue reading
Our new law didn’t work as advertised! So we need more laws.
Here’s an actual headline I did not make up… SAFE Act seems to fail at keeping guns from criminals You guys remember the New York Secure Ammunition and Firearms Enforcement Act of 2013, right? It was going to make New … Continue reading
I did something I never do any more…
I actually purchased a book on Amazon. A book I’ve wanted to buy for nearly a year… …the second volume of the Heinlein biography. Got the first one through a generous reader a year ago, but it only goes through … Continue reading
My new shiny, which probably won’t replace any current kit…
Last month at the local gun show I encountered a neighbor I don’t spend much time with. He had a table displaying his home-made knives and some of them looked pretty sweet. I told him if I had any money … Continue reading
Emergency backup bed…
…people who properly think ahead don’t have problems like this. 🙂 A month ago when I hurt my shoulder and couldn’t climb the ladder to the loft, I faced the question “well then where will I sleep?” Finally remembered that … Continue reading
The things dogs will do for a biscuit. The things people will do for attention.
Before this morning I totally did not know this was a thing. Not completely sure I’m happier knowing that it is. Little Bear can find his way around a bush. With a lot of coaching.
…so of course they’ll want to ban guns.
The rise in selfie deaths and how to stop them In India, there are more selfie deaths related to trains, which Hemank and his team said are due to “the belief that posing on or next to train tracks with … Continue reading









































