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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Clearly I just don’t understand inappropriate humor…
I already knew I don’t understand college pinkos. Claremont McKenna College’s student programming board cancelled a planned screening of Zoolander 2 because the film’s humor is inappropriate and comes “at the expense of individuals of marginalized identities.” The college ultimately … Continue reading
Will the last sane person out of California please lock the gate?
Sometimes gungrabbers just seem…well, petulant. Such people should not be allowed to write laws everybody else has to follow – unless they’re in California, in which case it’s tradition that only such people may do so. Case in point: Tuesday, … Continue reading
Comrade Bernie commands you not to buy this shirt.
Hee. Via Codrea, who demands link shares as his due, comes this exciting and important news item… Sanders Lawyers Do Not Like These “Bernie Is My Comrade” T-Shirts One Bit What t-shirts? Why, you naughty readers! To even address that … Continue reading
April 19 – It’s Interesting Times Day!
We’re not much for holidays here at the Secret Lair, but 4/19 is just about the only date I tend not to miss. Historically, things do seem to happen on this date: 1529 – At the Second Diet of Speyer, … Continue reading
So…really smart people are really stupid. Got it.
Who could possibly have seen this coming? I ask you? It’s just so darned unexpected. UC Berkeley Forced to Cut 500 Jobs After $15 Minimum Wage Hike If they’d started trimming headcount at the top – where the decisions are … Continue reading
A Tale of Two States
I’ve had a news article open in tabs since Saturday, because I was trying to make sense of it. Finally found some context. Mississippi governor signs law allowing armed church members Allowing them to do what, you ask? To be … Continue reading
Is this a thing?
Went into town this morning to refill my drinking water and saw this flyer on the board… It’s been a long time since I paid attention to what purposes people put public libraries to, for obvious reasons. And a small … Continue reading
I’ve noticed something odd about this presidential campaign…
I can’t remember any earlier campaign where I strongly objected to every single candidate. No, I don’t mean in the general sense of “He’s a statist,” as if I were a mammal and all the candidates were fish, so my … Continue reading
Clearly these dogs know they’re ‘public sector workers.’
Apropos to the Corgi post, and linked by a commenter therein, we bring you this important news flash… Airport K-9s can’t seem to locate drugs, but find plenty of cheese, sausages Authorities in England are a bit irritated with half … Continue reading
No, of course not. Why would that hurt my feelings?
Took the boys for a quick walkie sometime around noon, during which Ghost decided to peel off and go do his own thing. I figured he might have gone over to S&L’s, though it was a little late on Sunday … Continue reading
“Damn straight it’s getting worse for you.”
Heh. Ian and Karl play dressup…
So Long, St. Johns Bay
I have a shirt I really like. I’ve really liked it since before the turn of the century, so you know that one day the end must come, right? And it lasted so long because, really, since moving here I … Continue reading
My cute-fu is strong. Submit while you still may.
Yeah…I don’t see this going anywhere… Russian police will train Welsh corgis as service dogs in the hope that the small shepherd breed could take to police work and join law enforcement ranks, state news agency RIA Novosti reports. Elena … Continue reading
This is the miserable day the Lord has given us…
Let us rejoice and be glad when it’s gone. Well, we got a couple of nice days out of that respite, rather than the single one promised. But yesterday evening the weather returned with a vengeful gleam in its evil … Continue reading
“One of the Main Reasons the World’s Elite Are Buying Up Elaborate Underground Survival Bunkers…”
…is really dumb. “This is for wealthy people who are concerned about various disaster scenarios, but a common theme among them is a fear of civil unrest, a fear of an uprising from the 99 percent.” Lemme get this straight. … Continue reading
Dammit, Al! Quit leaving your movie props laying around.
Somebody could have been hurt! A Giant Sphere Was Found in Bosnia and Researchers Aren’t Sure Where It Came From Clearly, then, Bosnians aren’t Weird Al fans. Otherwise they’d know in an instant. Never mind that other dumb movie, the … Continue reading
Hah! Take that, woodpile.
It’s really only divided into two, though… This bunch I can load into the Jeep trailer and bring straight to Landlady’s woodbin. That’s more than enough to finish filling it, right there. And then this bunch I can split at … Continue reading
“Of course not!” she lied.
Even if I had a TV, I’m pretty sure I’d give these debates a miss. Clinton to Sanders: Gun control is ‘not a laughing matter’ It started with the question of whether Clinton had “seriously” blamed Vermont, and by extension … Continue reading
Oh, well. Got a start on it, anyway.
Okay, so I’ve got this pile of juniper in my yard that either needs to get chopped into stovelengths or dragged back into the boonies, because I’m heartily sick of looking at it. Figured I’d cut it up over the … Continue reading
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there’s a chance you won’t be leaving with me…
I think my weekender neighbors S&L may have come up in the evening. How do I know? I went out for a walkie with two dogs and came home with one. Ghost almost always slides off to check out his … Continue reading









































