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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Wait, what? Screw you.
Okay, so there’s this dumb online quiz making the round of blogs, all about how much of a ‘bubble’ you live in. Far as I can tell from reading the questions elsewhere it’s really about admitting how much of a … Continue reading
So, yeah. We’re doomed.
Well…you’re doomed. I’m living alone in the desert, surrounded by guns and big dogs. Best of luck, though.
If we can’t ban it, we can make the law allowing it so punitive you won’t do it.
Remember a couple of weeks ago when I linked an article about the fall of the last gun ban in the last American territory? Well, it seems somebody in power liked that ban just the way it had been. Residents … Continue reading
A beautiful day in the midst of all the suck…
It’s been cold, wet and windy for days, and the forecast promises more of the same. But today is warm and still and nearly cloudless. Went for a walk up the ridge on the other side of the wash, just … Continue reading
In Hillary’s defense, she didn’t make up this particular lie herself.
Naw, it’s an oldie. She just repeats it really enthusiastically. See, this is why we need gun bans nationally, rather than state-to-state. Because Chicago gets its guns from Indiana, DC gets its guns from Virginia, and New York City…well, its … Continue reading
Brady Campaign, keeping it classy since…um…
Hey, remember those silly NRA-theme fairy tale reboots? Naw, me either. I’d never have heard of them if the gungrabbers hadn’t invoked the Streisand Effect. Having become aware of them, I simply noted that they were pretty bad but not … Continue reading
Can a whole batch of chickens be defective?
Just went out to get eggs. I saw three in the nesting boxes, and unfortunately in my little five-hen flock, three eggs is currently a good day. I had three good layers until one died about a month back, and … Continue reading
Ah, rhetoric. What iniquities are wrought in thy name.
Don’t ask why I’m reading an NPR article on this cloudy afternoon, when I really ought to be leaving the ‘pooter entirely alone. I’m a public-spirited blogger and do it so you won’t have to. It’s puzzling that so many … Continue reading
Something that would keep me up every single night, if I were running for prez…
The other party is tearing itself apart, and everybody agrees that I’ve got a great shot at the chair. In response, the nation’s delighted citizens start buying guns and ammo like they’re planning for there to be no tomorrow. Of … Continue reading
That moment when a cherished assumption proves itself horribly wrong…
No! Noooo snubbies!
There have been some great suggestions in the “Which gun should I recommend” post, which I believe has the most active comment thread in TUAK history. And for the record you’ve affected the discussion that’s due this coming weekend, since … Continue reading
Why would you think we need more proof of that?
In re Congress’s proposed bill outlawing gravity, digestion and encryption… You people beating up Burr/DiFi's Cuckoo Bill are missing the bright spot. Now we have PROOF our Intel Oversight run by blithering idiots. — emptywheel (@emptywheel) April 8, 2016
QoD: “Oh Brave New World” Edition
We gotta get out while we’re young ‘Cause tramps like us, baby we were born respectively as a cis gender male assigned male at birth and a cis female assigned female at birth although obviously that entire binary concept supports … Continue reading
I met a lady from the Humane Society Friday…
At a pet supply store in the big town about 50 miles away. I’d stepped in to get a new tag for Ghost, who’d lost his, and she was trying to give away a little yapper who’d lost her owners. … Continue reading
Because we’re living in Bizarro America, some people actually consider this good.
Law enforcement took more stuff from people than burglars did last year 2014, actually, since the article was published last November. Doubt the situation has improved since then.
E. E. Smith, thou art vindicated.
Seems like spaceships used to do this all the damn time in the 1930’s, but that was before NASA and you can count on those bastards to screw everything up. Yeah, I know that other billionaire’s drone did it three … Continue reading
Still Life in Secret Lair
Every morning after greeting the dogs I pull down a journal and record the starting temperatures and the battery voltage. Not sure why, it’s of little use, but sometimes I do refer to records if only for comparison. Above the … Continue reading
I’ve given some “what gun should I buy” advice, and in the cold light of day I’m wondering if I should regret it.
Okay, here’s the set-up: Here’s a … well, she’s basically a sweet little old lady. Maybe a little older than me, kind and religious and mild and up till she discovered the desert I’d have called her thoroughly urban. Not … Continue reading









































