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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Let us now praise Gaston Glock
A few days ago I got an email from a long-time correspondent asking a question that would have rocked me back on my heels, had I been standing up. “What is the best 9mm pistol for concealed carry?” I estimate … Continue reading
Whoa! Stop! You guys rock.
Yeah, but we already overshot what’s needed for next month. Thank you very much!
Am I not stylish?
A couple of months ago I cursed myself roundly for having somehow put a bunch of holes in my new/old canvas coat I inherited from Geiger Counter Guy back in December ’13. That’s only two and a half winters, and … Continue reading
Aw, hell. Here’s another Joel’s Eye Care Bleg.
Just got back from the ophthalmologist in the big town about fifty miles away, and he’s upset with me for staying away so long. Seems the pressure in my eyeballs is way up again and the right eye has not … Continue reading
If I made a list of titles I never thought I’d read,…
This would be #1. Libertarians for Trump No, seriously. I’ll save you the trouble – It contains the following brief paragraph… But, the perfect is the enemy of the good. It is our goal to throw our weight behind the … Continue reading
Bringing hand laundry into the 21st century
I think March is the month I’m most ambivalent about. On the one hand it’s the harbinger of Spring, and so that’s a really good thing. On the other hand it isn’t usually very warm. Just enough to lure me … Continue reading
But no pressure, America…
Here’s a cheery thought… In 1933, Germans were led to be so frightened of Communist totalitarianism that they voted a Fascist totalitarian into office. Twelve years later, many of those voters were dead and Europe – including Germany – was … Continue reading
Paging Dr. Anslinger, Dr. Harry J. Anslinger…
(CNSNews.com) – Nearly six million Americans – or 2.5 percent of adults in the U.S. – suffer from “marijuana use disorder”, according to a new study by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). This finding has nothing … Continue reading
We have it on high authority that this never happens, so I guess all the witnesses are lying.
Gun > Hatchet A 60-year-old man with a valid concealed carry license was drinking his morning coffee when a masked man, later identified as 43-year-old Steven Blacktongue, entered the convenience store and began attacking the clerk, Kuldeep Singh. The attacker … Continue reading
Yeah, she should be president. She’ll fit right in.
Clinton: “We didn’t lose a single person” in Libya Well, except for those direct employees of mine whom I abandoned and then lied about. But if you can’t use people up and throw them away, what the hell good are … Continue reading
If you really think we’re the scary freaks you say you think we are…
…why do you talk and behave the way you do? If you carry a gun in public you are a terrorist. Period. There is no other way around it, because you are using the gun to intimidate in the name … Continue reading
Astronauts should not eat beans.
Or, possibly, should carry really big guns. Or designate one low-ranking crewman to wear a red shirt over his space suit, perhaps? Couldn’t hurt, as long as it isn’t me. h/t, and there’s some other good stuff at the link.
A little something for the ladies…
Went over to Landlady’s this morning, to do a little work converting the Big Chickenhouse back to Gitmo. Last thing I did was steal her nice storebought nesting box, brought it home and installed in the coop at the Fortress … Continue reading
On the need versus the desire to home-raise meat
Landlady asked this morning if I still intended to get into raising meat rabbits. I had to confess that the answer was provisionally yes but practically no. That is, I will maintain facilities capable of supporting it, but don’t plan … Continue reading
Jawohl, ve are stylink!
Uncle Joel will go old school at need. Moving gasoline from the town to the Jeep has thoroughly worn Landlady’s old plastic gas jugs all the hell out. Expansion and contraction until they’ve lost all shape and won’t even stand … Continue reading
Not that I have anything to complain about…
…since here at the gulch Spring started in early February this year. But for the rest of you poor frostbit froods… Eight days to the official start of Spring! Which, as I recall from my many years in the frozen … Continue reading
It’s sobering to reflect that when Mozart was my age…
…he’d been dead 27 years. Which useless fact came to mind this afternoon, when I read that Keith Emerson of Emerson, Lake and Palmer fame died last night at age 71. I wasn’t a fan, and never in life gave … Continue reading
I was angry till I got to the last para, then I nearly spat coffee.
Cops Wrongly Raid 86-yo Man’s Home, Taser and Arrest Him for Cooking Soup Technically he was arrested for harassing the police officers. For bleeding on them, maybe, I’m not sure. But the soup was apparently not mentioned in the indictment. … Continue reading
So yesterday I closed the ashram, and today I massacred the last remaining hippies.
But all did not go as planned. Fair warning: Nothing graphic, but some people may find some of what’s below the fold a little unpleasant.
Idiots. Dear god.
Here’s a shocking new truth every shooter has known for eighty years or so… U.S. Gun Sales are Being Used to Save the Environment Actually I don’t know whether the money is ‘saving the environment,’ but let that go for … Continue reading









































