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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
A second coyote-related first
Two in three days, when I can go months at a time without even thinking about coyotes! Weird. I was doing what has evolved into my security round yesterday afternoon, without the dogs for once because I had a grim … Continue reading
Bernie’s Teachable Moment
Ripped right off the wall at Borepatch’s place.
Well! That took some doing…
And all for a tiny little strip of light. ‘Way back in January my older brother sent me some 12v LED lamps, including this diminutive strip for the kitchen. For winter use if nothing else it has proven wise to … Continue reading
It wasn’t all that long ago, Bernie. Look it up.
I chuckled with my coffee… h/t
Poor, poor, pitiful congressvermin
Lousy food, low pay … lawmakers testify (gripe) about working on Capitol Hill Capitol Hill is a terrible place to work — That’s the lasting impression one might have after listening to lawmakers this week discussing the budget for Congress … Continue reading
On killing stuff just for laughs
Last summer, after Former Neighbor J moved away, he laid upon me an injunction to kill any rabbit I found in his yard – with the common-sense proviso that it mattered what the rabbit was standing in front of. Since … Continue reading
Bernie Sanders, ladies and gentlemen.
“When you’re white you don’t know what it’s like to be living in a ghetto, you don’t know what it’s like to be poor. You don’t know what it’s like to be hassled when you walk down the street, or … Continue reading
Ever see a coyote say, “Oh! Shit!”?
Because Little Bear and I just did, not ten minutes ago. It’s bread-making afternoon, and a good time to do it, too, because it’s cool and blustery outside and a warm oven is a good oven. I finished the rising, … Continue reading
That world you guys are living in? It makes no sense.
When I was a boy, I lusted after my very own Boy Scout pocketknife. I was never a boy scout, but I did admire the folding knife. I eventually wore my elders down, and was allowed to save my dimes … Continue reading
Brahmas are the fattiest, messiest, Gooiest birds…
Yeah, I should have done it before now but I was torn over whether I was even going to keep the meat. A few days ago I killed #4, and she was the greasiest thing…I could barely choke her down … Continue reading
No Idea.
The email address I use for this blog is a fossil still lying around from days when Cubicle Rat Joel spent a lot of company time on fora and called himself John DeWitt. I’m unaware of ever having joined a … Continue reading
I feel so…used…
You may talk of your Tamalanche, your Uncalanche, even your coveted Instalanche. But for sheer “what the hell is going on” fun at a sleepy little freedomista blog, nothing seems to beat getting tweeted by a minor celebrity. Milo Yiannopoulos … Continue reading
Another beautiful summer day…
…here in the first week of March, where it doesn’t belong. It’s supposed to cool down a bit after the weekend, but even then we’re looking at days in the sixties and nights in the high twenties, and only for … Continue reading
Maybe this is why Carson is still hanging around…
Since we seem to be living in Bizaaro-election world, Trump may live to regret bringing up this subject if it comes to convention polling, allowing it to thrust deeper, deeper, oh god deeper into the national conversation, … It’s “yuge” … Continue reading
Milo Yiannopoulos should stop tearing the hearts from the living bodies of students during his college speeches.
‘Cause, like, it hurts, man*! I gather that’s what he’s doing, judging from the tenor of this article. Aren’t there laws about that? No, seriously, hear the anguished cries of the few scattered survivors! Marcus Robinson, president of Pitt’s Rainbow … Continue reading
A tax credit for getting weapons training?
Saw this first at the Captain’s Place… CHARLESTON, West Virginia — The West Virginia Legislature has approved legislation allowing residents 21 or older to carry a concealed gun without first obtaining a permit or undergoing training. So I thought, good! … Continue reading
Yeah…
Okay. Gimme a minute. Just lemme get around some coffee, and go water the chickens. (Yeah, right, that’s what they’re calling it now.) I’ll be back.
The moment Chris Christie decided politics isn’t fun anymore
Yeah. This is where I want to be. Riiight here. Uh huh.
Why is it always windy on Dump Day?
The county dump near here is actually very well – or at least energetically – run as far as I can tell. Layered like lasagna, the fields of trash never seem to remain exposed for more than a few hours … Continue reading









































