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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Another uninvited guest
The weatherman promised us some wan sunshine this morning before the rain starts again, and so far he’s delivered. I’ve been letting it do as much for the batteries as possible while I did outdoor work, knocking apart some pallets, … Continue reading
Aftermath: The Muddening
Came out at first full light to an unusual mess. Meh. Hardly the first time. It’s supposed to rain most of today, too. So it’ll wash off. Well he certainly seemed to be enjoying himself. Truth is my heart was … Continue reading
Ghost does his good deed for the day
It rained almost non-stop from eleven to maybe 4:30, and in fact it has now started again. The wash ran a little in the early afternoon, nothing I couldn’t splash through to discharge my chicken duties, but I certainly didn’t … Continue reading
Cattle Update…
Things have settled down to a routine with the cattle. The cattlemen drove a herd into my stomping grounds last May, which herd promptly turned around and ambled right back out again. So they drove the same cattle back into … Continue reading
Well, I couldn’t pull that train job…
I stood beside the tracks and yelled Allahu Akbar, shook the AK I found in the park. I’m pretty sure I did all the right things. But the freight train wouldn’t stop and give me its money. So that didn’t … Continue reading
Racist thugs attack homeless man, steal his only means of support.
This is good: Train gunman ‘dumbfounded’ by terrorist tag, says was hungry: lawyer The Moroccan told David he had found the Kalashnikov he had taken onto the train in a park near the Gare du Midi rail station in Brussels … Continue reading
I totally forgot…
Sorry! Weekend before last I got a care package from somebody who definitely has been reading the blog… That’s a few years’ worth of string. A gulcher can never have too much string.
“Is that a RIB?”
I finished the post below and stood up to stretch. Little Bear had been snoozing by the door and saw this as clear evidence that I wanted to pet him or take him on a Jeep ride or maybe buy … Continue reading
Keep your finger off the trigger.
Milwaukee man dies after accidentally shooting himself in leg You already know how this story is going to go… A 22-year-old Milwaukee man died early Friday after it appeared he accidentally shot himself in the leg as he was putting … Continue reading
In the spirit of yesterday’s rant…
I was looking around in the archive for something else entirely when I came upon this delightful ditty from our own Claire Wolfe, from last summer. Unfortunately it’s published at a place I no longer link to or promote in … Continue reading
Do not fear to do great harm to the one who seeks to harm you.
I’ve been watching as the story of what happened on that French train sorts itself out. Latest version I’ve seen says the racist assailants were a USAF guy, a National Guardsman, an American civilian and a British guy living in … Continue reading
Lament for Summer
It’s like my own private Stonehenge. Ten after six, and the sun is just starting to kiss the cliff. A month ago it happened at about quarter to six. In late December this will happen at quarter to eight, unless … Continue reading
Remington to Hillary: We wuv you.
Works on firearms, not email servers. In stores now. #clean #fun pic.twitter.com/aN5yMM3EKp — Remington Arms (@RemingtonArms) August 19, 2015
I have always hated the phrase “Modern Sporting Rifle.”
I wasn’t aware until just now when I Googled the phrase that it was coined and pushed by a single organization, the National Shooting Sports Foundation, or that it actually manages to have its very own Wikipedia page. None of … Continue reading
Pity the part-Newfie when it gets good and hot…
It hasn’t rained in seven days, and while normally I consider that a good thing it is causing some issues with temperature not normally seen in late August, when we’re supposed to be washing away. No big deal for me … Continue reading
Exciting new categories of crime!
Legalize weed and you ruin the day of countless corrupt cops, no doubt. But think of the opportunities opened for enterprising bureaucrats! Rush worked to expand his union’s presence in the medical marijuana industry, including unionizing dispensary workers, FBI Special … Continue reading
Does Uncle Joel have his very own “saying”?
‘Bout damn time, is all I can say… You know the saying, “If someone says, “Sure, I can get you all the guns and explosives you want, no problem!”, you’re talking to a Fed . . . And he’s talking … Continue reading
I’m happy to say that on my most ‘tactical’ day ever…
…I’d have found this over the top. Got an email from Landlady: “I found something to replace your utility belt ;)” with a link. Now, granted, Uncle Joel’s Bat-belt has occasionally danced around the shark in a sprightly manner, if … Continue reading









































