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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Shinies!
Looky here what I got, in three completely separate care packages! Larry Correia’s latest in hardback! “Yeah, who’s got something somebody wants to borrow now, huh?” Another book that…couldn’t possibly be different from Larry Correia’s latest. It appears to be … Continue reading
This post is brought to you through the courtesy of tequila.
I was sitting in my chair, thinking about a particular thing involving a particular person I was once married to. The particular thing was not the most pleasant episode in my entire life. The boys wanted out, so I got … Continue reading
Strange things you didn’t think you’d be doing when you entered a life of hermitage…
Exterior: Helicopter zooms toward a looming cliff of clay and fractured limestone. The scene fills with the rock and begins rising up the cliff, until revealing the lip of the cliff and the plain above, and with it a man … Continue reading
Ian’s new toy TOOL
Hey, remember Ian’s fund raiser for Forgotten Weapons gear? Well, it’s bearing tangible fruit in the form of a shiteload of new photographic gear…including some that flies itself. The cool thing about all this stuff is that you actually do … Continue reading
Identity groups I despise
Identity groups are an inescapable part of life. I don’t resist them all. I’m a gun owner, and we’re definitely an oppressed group – or at least a group some people would like to oppress – so I cheerfully identify … Continue reading
Heh. Good one.
Remember when Democrats thought it was important to return Hispanic children to their parents? #Tcot #nerdland pic.twitter.com/Crg4Yw0F3b — Stuart (@Ringo6) July 6, 2014 H/T to Borepatch
Oh, that smarts…
“Thousands of spirit limbs are haunting as many good soldiers, every now and then tormenting them.” Y’know, I was thinking just the other day that the phantom pain thing hasn’t been much of a problem lately. But I woke before … Continue reading
Okay, here’s a plan…
I’ve got three vicious would-be murderers on my hands… Beautiful, aren’t they? They’re the sisters of Smithers, who went to meet Colonel Sanders a few weeks ago, and looking at them I’m glad I culled him when I did. Mature, … Continue reading
More chicken drama
Whenever I see pictures and videos of flocks of happy cooperative chickens frolicking in fields of green grass, I feel judged and hostile. Why do our chickens always become psychotic? There’s a new refugee at the Secret Lair. I came … Continue reading
Sometimes Weird Stuff Happens.
Thanks for all the suggestions, please do keep them coming. I can’t believe I forgot the Viking funeral of God-Emperor Kwai Chang Cain. (Which, btw, eventually morphed into this short story.) By way of thanks for the prompt help, here’s … Continue reading
The first rule of Claire Club is…aw, you know the rest.
Some good suggestions coming on the thread I posted below. Can’t believe I forgot the viking funeral. Just because it’s not on the blog…I’m already working on a new chapter titled “Sometimes Weird Stuff Happens.” You know the jokey old … Continue reading
Wait, wait. There are wi-fi lightbulbs?
Borepatch has a post up this morning concerning an apparently typical Internet security facepalm and to tell the truth I would have glanced at it and mooched on by because I don’t understand three words of what he linked to. … Continue reading
#7 laid an egg!
After the pullets’ record-breaking effort of yesterday, I wondered if I’d get anything at all from them today and I didn’t. But there was an egg in the big nest box anyway: Big, longer than typical RIR: It could only … Continue reading
Enter the Pullets
Either one of the Rhode Island Red pullets has been laying an egg a day for several days, or several of them have been doing it sporadically. I don’t know which. But there has never been a day when more … Continue reading
Struggling for #5…
h/t I passed 33,000 words today, with a target of 50K and 150-200 formatted pages. That’s quite a mechanistic goal, but what can I say? The only way people ever actually paid me to sit at a keyboard all day … Continue reading
Run, you coward, run!
This’ll make you smile. Put on your poet’s beret and go read this right now. In a world where I could drunkenly recite this at a picnic while my fellows banged tankards on the table and roared the chorus loud … Continue reading
Manual Laundry Agitator Review
It’s kind of overcast to be doing this, but I do need clean stuff and anyway a little rain-soaking if it happens will just wash out some of the hard water residue so I went ahead and filled the clotheslines … Continue reading
Oh, here comes Monsoon…
My second-least favorite time of the year. I confess I didn’t really mind it very much until last year, when it seemed like water management was all I did for three months. Today I’ll be out tending my ditches. It … Continue reading
Christmas in July…
I (finally!) finished my painting gig this morning, which put a hundred bux in my pocket. And I was performing my favorite and also most painful mental exercise while driving away, which is deciding where the money is going to … Continue reading
We here at TUAK don’t pay that much attention to holidays…
…and to tell the truth we’re not the most nationalistic creatures that ever lived. But Kevin makes a good point when he reminds us that maybe Independence Day should have at least a relatively warm place in the hearts of … Continue reading









































