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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
You can force a lesser bureaucracy to serve crappy food, but you can’t make kids eat it.
This is funny. Some districts balk at latest serving of school lunch rules Some district officials are saying they’re all for healthy food, but they have to sell enough hot lunches to break even on their program — and that … Continue reading
You guys are great.
Had a busy first half of the morning. J had one gallon of color coat left from his house, so I went out early to finish painting his small horse shelter. One gallon is almost exactly enough to do that … Continue reading
And the concentration camp guards are wearing tan shirts, not brown. Let’s not exaggerate.
The first rule of Tyranny Club is you do not talk about Tyranny Club. The second rule of Tyranny Club is what happens to you if you talk about Tyranny Club. Medical staff warned: Keep your mouths shut about illegal … Continue reading
I’ve discovered my problem…
I have PTSD. Yes, Paint Trauma Stress Disorder. I realized it this morning, when I was trying to roll paint neatly onto a horse-chewed and hardware-cloth-covered piece of curled, weathered plywood without dripping or sagging. I got to thinking about … Continue reading
Grumble. I may have to get one of those ‘Kindle” things.
I have surrendered to the fact that I am a Larry Correia fanboy. I affirm that I am powerless over Larry Correia. And the newest and long-awaited MHI novel was released today – and I actually noticed, which nails down … Continue reading
Regulate firearms like booze and cigarettes? Careful what you wish for, Mr. King.
If celebrities have taught us anything over the years, they’ve taught us that fame doesn’t make you not an idiot. In the case of Stephen King, this is actually kind of surprising. No, I don’t know anything about him personally … Continue reading
I expected that to take longer…
Guy bought two gallons of Killz. I used half of that on the first coat of the most weathered wall of the smallest shelter. So by eight I was totally out of paint and not even done with the smallest … Continue reading
Picture Uncle Joel stomping his feet and darkly muttering “It’s not fair…”
Because that’s what I’m going to be doing around 5:30 tomorrow morning. I got roped (IE someone offered to pay me) into painting a couple of horse shelters. Painting is my very very very least favorite chore – which is … Continue reading
’cause I’m a guy.
See that? That’s my empty potato bag. It’s empty despite my having gone to town Saturday specifically, in part, to buy potatoes. I had eight bucks in my pocket. That’s easily enough to buy a small sack of potatoes and … Continue reading
One ringy-dingy. Two ringy-dingy…
Got the AK scope dialed in, and oh what a relief it is. The carbine isn’t any sort of tack driver, but now able to see both the target and the sight I was shooting within minute of steel plate … Continue reading
“What we owe ourselves alone”
These days I confess I kinda get a kick out of the insults gun-grabbers throw. I’m sure I’m paraphrasing somebody when I say I count it an honor to be despised by the despicable. When people I don’t even know … Continue reading
Life can get complicated when you’re the neighborhood dog
Ghost technically isn’t my dog. On weekends like this, he isn’t my dog at all. Yesterday morning the boys and I took a Jeep ride to Landlady’s house to say hi. As soon as Ghost saw her puppy Dharma he … Continue reading
Private to Bayou Renaissance Man…
I think this will probably solve my long-gun problem. Since the eye surgery I have superior long vision and utterly shite short vision, which makes iron sights a real problem. I can read fine with bifocals, but those lenses are … Continue reading
Boy, you shoot one little archduke…
I know that in his way he is an extremely important historic character. But a statue? Really? He was also just a clueless schlub. I can’t imagine anybody but a Serbian arguing that he’s famous for anything good, and even … Continue reading
Smells like a campfire…
…but it’s really a forest. Or it was yesterday. Now it’s a whole big bunch of violations of one of Al Gore’s imaginary laws, and who knows who’s going to the gulag for it. Yesterday a fire went from nothing … Continue reading
Good Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Okay, so I didn’t get a lot done on my writing assignment, Teacher, but I have an excuse. First, I had a 9 o’clock appointment to help D move his old generator out. Believe it or not this will end … Continue reading
It takes a village – or at least a minivan full of Mexicans
I recently told the tale of how T arranged for the whole neighborhood to come set up his new barn for free. It has been requested that I impart the truth about how he and I got it out of … Continue reading
Top. Men.
EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway No, it’s not The Onion. The nice thing about our government these days is that I don’t really have to come up with snarky commentary. How could I possibly improve on … Continue reading
Excerpt
Okay, I don’t promise to do this a lot. But today I feel like it. Many Hands Not everybody who moves out here has hermitage in mind. Some think in terms of community. And some who maybe hadn’t thought in … Continue reading









































