Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

Symbiosis

And now that I’ve aired out my hairshirt, this is an example of why people keep me around. Even if I do say so myself.

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In the Ghetto…

Geiger Counter Guy is an Elvis Presley fan, a fact which I don’t hold against him since at least he shares my loathing for one particular Presley song. We were just talking about it the other day. (Seriously, you try … Continue reading

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Red-faced retraction…

When things aren’t going wrong I can live like a king on $150 a month. I’m housed, clothed and fed on what I can scrounge and what I figure out. That bit of hooting self-congratulation has been weighing on my … Continue reading

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Phase Two…

In which an attempted blow to freedom becomes good news for freedom? Stay tuned, I guess. It’s reasonable to believe that the non-Connecticut press covered the December registration drive because its members were happy to see the state achieve what … Continue reading

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Happy-making news from my home town…

Untrained but reasonably-armed woman takes on three experienced thugs, sends them running from her door like gazelles with a little help from a pistol-caliber carbine. What is that, a Hi-Point? Setting aside all the bullshit about ‘assault rifles’ in the … Continue reading

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There was a time when this would have actually offended me…

…and that seems really stupid now. When things aren’t going wrong I can live like a king on $150 a month. I’m housed, clothed and fed on what I can scrounge and what I figure out. But I will admit … Continue reading

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Translation: We’re going to do it anyway, but without those annoying open bids.

DHS cancels national license plate tracking plan Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson on Wednesday ordered the cancellation of a plan by the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency to seek a national license plate tracking system. The order came in the … Continue reading

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Arsenic caps: Still unfinished today.

Here’s a video containing demented goats.

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This is probably the best…

Or at least the most entertaining takedown on the drug war I’ve ever read. Go read. In theory, conservatives pride themselves on making rational decisions. They endeavor to avoid erratic behavior. They don’t like extreme change. They try to avoid … Continue reading

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It was bound to happen…

The only question is why it took so long. In the evening, just before dark, I tend to the chickens in the Fortress of Attitude. I clean the shit out of the coop, make sure they have food, collect any … Continue reading

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Gotta go do arsenic caps all day.

So here’s a creepy .gif. Did you know the male platypus has poisonous spurs on its hind legs and is among Australia’s more venomous creatures? Neither did the photographer.

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Oh, that’s just weird.

My neighbor Geiger Counter Guy has gotten into ancient weapons. Specifically anything remotely to do with Vikings. And that led to aggressive little hatchets, which led to tomahawks, which led to throwing tomahawks, which led to a place I never … Continue reading

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Headlines I never thought I’d read…

Your Flashlight Is Spying On You How could I not click on that link, hey? Where I proceed to learn… The Federal Trade Commission recently obtained a settlement from Goldenshores Technologies, a company that made a popular flashlight app. The … Continue reading

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Hypothesis: Twitter is the most efficient method ever invented for a person to publicly make an ass of himself.

From here.

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Adventures in Fantasyland

Reading this Forbes piece filled with the usual viewing-with-alarm of Obama’s executive-power brand of governance, I came upon this hilarious chestnut: Following the 2014 elections the Senate, which will then be Republican-controlled, can hold serious hearings on what this White … Continue reading

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Well, that was thoughtful…

I’m an amputee, which means I’m dependent on certain textile products you can’t pick from a juniper bush. And thanks to the wonders of the insurance/health industry complex, they’re all absurdly expensive for what you get. When I blow out … Continue reading

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I suppose it should be shameful for an old dealership mechanic to admit…

…but when it comes to auto maintenance, I’m the dead worst. I busted my knuckles on flat rate in the ’70’s and ’80’s and hated every microsecond of it. Seriously, Sunday nights I used to get mean. Thank the gods … Continue reading

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We’re community organizers…

…and we’re here to help. Trader Joe’s wanted to build a new store in Portland, Oregon. Instead of heading to a tony neighborhood downtown or towards the suburbs, the popular West Coast grocer chose a struggling area of Northeast Portland. … Continue reading

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I suppose it’s a mystery every dog nanny ponders…

How can a dog so deaf he can’t hear his name called when he’s lying three feet away… …Unerringly and invariably identify the sound of the top coming off a can of Spam. From out of doors and across the … Continue reading

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Hey, you remember that kid the cops shot late last year?

The one executed for walking-while-carrying-a-toy-gun? The California legislature took the matter very seriously, and has solved the problem so it can never happen again. Behold. Senators passed SB 199 on a 23-8 vote. Authored by Sen. Kevin de Leon, D-Los … Continue reading

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