Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

Laundry day

Breezy and not half as sunny as promised, but still unseasonably mild: Time to move laundry day outdoors for a while.Been meaning to do this for quite some time. A couple of six-gallon mud buckets (Hint for would-be hermits: Never … Continue reading

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From the blog where you come to hear an old guy bitch about the weather…

A hearty “neener neener.”

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Remember when people used to say…

“He must have done something, or else why were they there?” Police Shoot, Kill 80-Year-Old Man In His Own Bed, Don’t Find the Drugs They Were Looking For Maybe it’s just the company I keep, but I don’t hear that … Continue reading

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Oh, do please burst into flames.

In an environmentally friendly way, of course. But yes, Mr. Environment Scold. Do. Valentine’s Day Is an Environmental Travesty: The carbon costs of greeting cards Assessments of the difference between the carbon footprints of a paper greeting card and an … Continue reading

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Thank goodness. Freedom in our time.

Wisconsin Assembly approves bill legalizing rubber duck races MADISON, Wis. — A bill legalizing rubber duck races in Wisconsin is moving closer to the finishing line. The state Assembly approved the measure Thursday on a voice vote. The bill now … Continue reading

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A nest for birds, there ain’t no words…

It’s a better harbinger of Spring than any stupid groundhawg, I can tell you. Drifts of soft black fiber waving with every breeze……getting caught in every random obstruction……and poor Little Bear, sidling away from Daddy whenever he appears at the … Continue reading

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Okay, now I’m terrified.

Tell me: In a real world context, is a Master’s degree in economics of any more value than a Bachelor’s in ethnic studies? Or Polynesian basket weaving? It seems somebody in Washington noticed that for all the weeping and wailing, … Continue reading

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It’s only four courses, and they left out the stuffed peacock tongues as a gesture of solidarity with the masses.

“The first course will feature American Osetra caviar, farmed from the estuaries of Illinois, paired with quail eggs from Pennsylvania and a dozen varieties of potatoes from farms in New York, Idaho and California. “That will be followed by a … Continue reading

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That’s a relief. I was terribly concerned for the poor dears, they’ve been under such stress.

LAPD Cops Who Shot at Innocent Women During Dorner Chase Won’t Lose Jobs or Face Charges Thank you for your service, officers! Your professionalism and restraint (and great distance) make me feel so much safer! Carry on.

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Hah! I want to see this!

The existence of a LEGO movie had barely registered on my consciousness before Claire mentioned it this morning. Now I can hardly wait for it to come out on DVD. I’ve actually had conversations like that…

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Paging Doctor Owens…Doctor Buck Owens…

I’m told there’s a rule about commanding people, that goes back centuries. You could call it one of the classic blunders. “Never give an order you know won’t be obeyed.” It gets people to wondering about other areas in which … Continue reading

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If you knew you were going to die this year…

…what would you do with that knowledge? Late last month I shared a remarkable series of emails with a fellow named Frederick. It started when he offered to send me the money it would cost to pay for two new … Continue reading

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In lieu of actual content…

H/T to The Freedom Outlaw.

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I remember the last thing my instructor told me at Suicide Bomber Training Camp…

“Never practice!” BAGHDAD — A group of Sunni militants attending a suicide bombing training class at a camp north of Baghdad were killed on Monday when their commander unwittingly conducted a demonstration with a belt that was packed with explosives, … Continue reading

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Cassandra got pretty much the same treatment, as I recall…

H/T to Karen.

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From the “people throw away the damndest things” files…

Ever since building my ramshackle storage/power shed year before last I’ve watched for some decent shelving. It’s just so very expensive, and I got along with expedient measures till I couldn’t find a damn thing in there. Then one day … Continue reading

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One of these days we’re going to see a Third Amendment challenge in federal court.

I predicted it for years, and for years people told me I was nuts. Twice I tried to sell articles based on this premise and was told in no uncertain terms to pound sand – once by JPFO fergodsake, which … Continue reading

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LB broke another cable. Plan B unexpectedly works.

Little Bear wears out tie-out cables with monotonous regularity. I could put him on a chain, but cables fit under the front door. That way I don’t have to chain and unchain him forty times a day, and if he … Continue reading

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A picture is worth…

There’s a photo been making the rounds……a shiny Glock done up to be reminiscent of Tiffany stuff. I think it’s ugly as hell, which is ironic coming from a Glock which emerges from the factory like unto a mud wall. … Continue reading

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Landlady and I have a running gag, concerning winter…

Whenever she comes up for the weekend, the weather goes completely to hell. She was due this weekend and I considered breaking out the heavy parka. But then she canceled. 55o F. in the shade. And there is shade, because … Continue reading

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