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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
It’s 1936 all over again, looks like…
Huge ovation as Vladimir Putin enters the Olympic arena…. #SochiProblems pic.twitter.com/JViv4Dn1ti — Sochi Problems (@Sochi2014Probz) February 7, 2014
(nom nom) Probably (nom) Illegal…
Ah, small town life… When you come into town for some propane and a couple of battery cables, you may encounter a couple of ladies running a bake sale. If this is the case you should definitely stop, because there’s … Continue reading
Boy, I must really come across as a whiny bitch…
…If a guy in Afghanistan reaches out to save me from my grim, pitiable French Press deprivation. I do appreciate it, though. Stainless does make more sense than glass, since I’ve broken two of the latter and can’t even beat … Continue reading
Of course there are different schools of thought…
In re the sign in the post below: Carl Bussjaeger quite correctly points out that, for those who truly object to “civilians” having the effrontery to carry the tools of self-defense, there is another tactic one might try…Won’t say anything … Continue reading
Grump.
8:30 in the blessed AM. The sun has allegedly been over the ridge for the past 45 minutes but I defy you to prove it. Ghost refuses to leave my chair, and even LB doesn’t want to go outside. And … Continue reading
So the humiliating fiasco was a year ago today, and LAPD brass has only just now decided that…
Shooting during Dorner stakeout violated policy, panel rules Eight officers who mistakenly fired more than 100 shots at a pickup carrying two women delivering newspapers violated the LAPD’s policy on deadly force, commission finds. Chief Beck must now decide on … Continue reading
Apparently the only thing scarier than a scary gun…
…is a picture of a scary gun. Tinley Park High School Principal Theresa Nolan said the new sticker reminding concealed-carry licensees that guns are not allowed in schools is alarming. Good news, though: Most suburban Chicago schoolchildren are holding up … Continue reading
Don’t bitch about losing your job. The government’s just trying to make you happy.
No, seriously. “GDP growth isn’t a good in and of itself,” he says. “The question here is what’s going to create the most happiness for the greatest numbers of people. Being in a situation where people have to work full … Continue reading
“It’s not clear where IRS officials found the money to pay for the bonuses…” Really?
I think we all know where it comes from, Stephen. Embattled IRS plans employee bonuses for 2013 work to ‘boost morale’ Citing the need to boost employee morale, the Internal Revenue Service’s new commissioner said Monday that he will pay … Continue reading
Actually, I can think of a much more overwhelming reason than that, Joe.
Biden: There’s an ‘overwhelming reason’ not to run for president Vice President Joe Biden told a gathering of auto workers there’s one “overwhelming reason” not to run for president — a chance to drive General Motors’ new Corvette Stingray. Say … Continue reading
I’ll go take pictures of chickens or something.
Otherwise I’ve got nothing to write about except what you already know, which is that oooh, I hate winter. No, seriously, I know you folks in…well pretty much everywhere in the northern 70% of the country have far better claims … Continue reading
Okay, challenge accepted. Enter the redneck!
It figures. Doesn’t it just freakin’ figure? All of January passed with hardly a cloud in the sky. Never snowed once. Perfect weather for solar power. All those beautiful photons raining down on my panels, where they did no blessed … Continue reading
Hedonism, cedar rat style
Yesterday I went to the big town about 50 miles away for an eye exam (finally healed up, trying to clear Neighbor D’s schedule for second surgery) and (most important) to buy a new battery for the Lair’s solar power … Continue reading
TUAK is back on the air.
Just got back from the EXTREMELY LENGTHY trip to town, and got my new batteries hooked up. There’s some work to do tomorrow, I want to swap out some cables I’ve never been very happy with and that don’t work … Continue reading
A good day for Materialist Joel…
Yesterday winter came by the gulch briefly, just to say hi. I knew something was up because we had absurdly warm temps followed by two days of gale winds and if that doesn’t blow in a change I don’t know … Continue reading
Confessions of a former TSA officer
Dear America, I Saw You Naked. There I was, an aspiring satire writer, earnestly acting on orders straight out of Catch-22. Long, but good. From the creator of Taking Sense Away.
The same old song…
Gun-grabbers need to get some new arguments. They’ve worn the texture right off all the old ones. Here’s a law professor at Stanford University, going on about the country’s crying need for more victim disarmament… He argued that the Second … Continue reading
Hey guys, I know where your warm went.
Woke up this morning to 47O outside temperature. That’s about thirty degrees above normal. Didn’t really believe the thermometer was telling the truth till I stepped outside to check for myself. Now it’s a little after ten, and the temp’s … Continue reading
Introducing Avalon the Maladroit
She’s a Morgan or Morgan mix, I’m not sure which. H has decided to steer away from Arabs, preferring horses that aren’t quite so prone to psychosis. And Avalon is a sweetheart. Friendly and laid-back from the very first introduction. … Continue reading









































