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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Being an NYPD cop means never having to say you’re sorry.
Unarmed Man Is Charged With Wounding Bystanders Shot by Police Near Times Square An unarmed, emotionally disturbed man shot at by the police as he was lurching around traffic near Times Square in September has been charged with assault, on … Continue reading
TUAK turns five today…
and to celebrate, here is without doubt the most annoying birthday song ever recorded by anyone, anywhere, anywhen. But there’s the right number of candles, so there. Not bad for what was just supposed to be a short-term hobby blog … Continue reading
“He came amongst us!
Unkie Joel’s gonna hurl. I watched this and…it wasn’t a laugh, exactly. It wasn’t precisely a sob. I’m just glad he isn’t actually competent. With this sort of chorus behind him, he could be dangerous if he were competent. I … Continue reading
Winter has finally arrived…
…and in classic form. Morning temps in single digits for the first time in the season. Crystal clear sky, not a single cloud, and I think not a single H2O molecule. This is the first field-test of whether my new … Continue reading
81 years ago, Obama couldn’t have said this.
Because he wasn’t born yet. Also because it would have been illegal. And Obama would never do anything illegal. When the Prez does it, that means it isn’t illegal. You know what people were doing 80 years ago tonight? That’s … Continue reading
Good Neighbors
So yesterday I went to town with my neighbor L. She had a little to do, and as it turned out I had quite a lot more. I wanted propane and gasoline, but I also wanted a new spark plug … Continue reading
When Uncle Murphy says “Neener Neener,” he has no crotch for me to kick him in.
Snowed maybe three inches overnight. No biggie, never got very cold and the wind died down almost all morning. And almost all the clouds evaporated. Almost all. There was this one patch of dark cloud, that hung on for hours … Continue reading
If this dumbass video won any sort of prize, that tells me everything I need to know about Obamacare…
…and about government in general, in fact. And it’s already spinning off parodies, which is the thing that truly makes America great. 🙂
A Spot of Liquid Refreshment
There have been some generous donations to TUAK over the past couple of weeks and I want to say thank you very much. Most of that gets spent on Internet access and glaucoma meds, but every now and then I … Continue reading
An “I hate winter” selfie…
Woke up with the wind whipping around the Lair. Hoped it would settle down, and it only got worse. The Lair’s down in a hollow, tucked into the crotch of a complicated ridge and only ten or so feet above … Continue reading
How to opt out of Obamacare
Well, by now that’s got to be a subject near and dear to just about everybody. You could do it the way I have…but not even I suggest doing that, and this article lists numerous excellent reasons why it’s a … Continue reading
Obama is acting like the villain in the third act of a bad action flick.
“I may go down, but I’m taking you all with me! BWAAhahaha!” Obama on ObamaCare: There’s no way we’re repealing this boondoggle while I’m president, America
Josie the Outlaw?
There’s this young lady who put four videos up a couple of days ago. She kind of drones on, but does have some good things to say. Probably on Facebook; I can’t find anything like a website or blog.
This is NOT TRUE.
Just saying. Got this from Coloradohermit back in July. So far, no such temptations. ETA: Did I tell you Landlady’s got five more Rhode Island Reds coming, just for me? The first one that starts plucking her sisters goes straight … Continue reading
Just rambling on…
An almost scarily pleasant morning. 37 outdoors/53 indoors when I came down the ladder, a few high cirrus shreds but nothing that will keep the batteries from charging. So I booted the computer right away to see who was frothing … Continue reading
…and then I boiled the marrow from his very bones.
There is precisely one thing I like about winter: I like my pressure cooker. I have an old-fashioned Presto cast-aluminum four-quart pressure cooker with Bakelite handles and a big whistle on the top that tells you when your world is … Continue reading
No. Seriously, this is creepy. Don’t do this.
Delivery drones are coming: Jeff Bezos promises half-hour shipping with Amazon Prime Air
And then he starts bitching about the weather again!
I have a friend – no names, but she knows who she is – who moved to the high desert and gamely lived here for a year and a half, hating every second of it. And it wasn’t the things … Continue reading
So Landlady murdered Bob with a hatchet on Friday…
Heh – that’s for all the fine young voyeurs at NSA. Morning, guys! Anyway, this post is really about dogs. Because Dharma and Basie were visiting at the time, right? And they’re all like, “Wow, they chop the heads off … Continue reading









































