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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
I don’t do Facebook, but…
Once in a while I do wander over to Freedom Outlaw to see the funny pictures. Just sayin’.
You can’t make this shite up.
Nancy Pelosi: Republican ‘sabotage’ hindering health care law House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi believes the new health care law should move forward without delay and said that “sabotage” by Republicans, and not just computer glitches, is hindering implementation. Pelosi said … Continue reading
When you’ve lost Jon Stewart…
At best you’re in deep shit. He’s a democrat. He’s on your side. But he’s got ratings he must keep high, which means he must stay funny, which means he’s going after the low-hanging fruit. And that’s you, Obamacare. And … Continue reading
Further misadventures in chicken farming…
Today it was time to off another of Landlady’s Brahma cocks. She said I could have one of the smaller ones from her flock, and I waited until I had nice fresh stew ingredients. I don’t get meat very often … Continue reading
Sometimes you just need a better handgun.
My neighbor D favors the cowboy look. He wears denim and flannel, sheepskin vests, cowboy hats. And his weapons were all perfected in the nineteenth century. I like to think I’ve been a bad influence on him. When we met … Continue reading
Heh. I’m not feeling the love here, Amazon…
So Matthew Bracken is giving away free kindle downloads of his books. I bought a copy of Enemies Foreign and Domestic way back when. Read it through. Still have it around here somewhere. It wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t great, I … Continue reading
Publish or perish, ladies…
Yesterday was the sixth straight day without a single egg from my hens. That smashes all previous records, and makes me cast an increasingly greedy eye on Landlady’s hens – which still aren’t laying eggs. Yesterday I bought an 18-pack … Continue reading
Another Ian 2-gun video
Ian at Forgotten Weapons has been competing in 2-gun matches in Tucson. Being Ian, he mostly does it with historic weapons – sometimes historic weapons comically unsuited for the stages. But I’ve especially enjoyed the videos in which he and … Continue reading
If I had been putting my faith in republicans, I would now be throwing up in my mouth. Not a little.
This might not be new, but it’s the first I’ve heard of it. Making Life Work For More People: House Republicans are Dedicated to Common Sense Policies to Improve the Lives of You and Your Family. Over the next two … Continue reading
Reloading Bleg
I’m a bad dad. Little Bear was bugging me to do something besides sit around the Lair, so we went for a Jeep ride to take care of Landlady’s chickens. Then I stopped at the reloading shack to work over … Continue reading
“Daddy, I have an idea!”
I have always been boring to be around. My daughter thought so, and she was right. Long before she came along I spent some summers with nephews. And the only line of dialogue I remember from then, I heard from … Continue reading
Monsoon’s finally over, time to do something less dramatic with the gray water outlet.
This morning I saw two people. That’s on the high side for an average day.
So if I ever get nostalgic for everything that comes with a regular paycheck, I’ll just think of this…
Shooting skills have their place, but…
I’ve spoken before about my hard-luck neighbor Darrel the Former Cop. He’s a perfectly normal, capable and industrious man who moved out here with an unusually generous grubstake, bought about 120 acres, built a big house, put in the usual … Continue reading
And speaking of boring…
Here’s a funny example of a commodity in a barter economy. I posted the apology below, and then went the sink where a bunch of stump socks were soaking. I wear thick wool socks on the stump of my left … Continue reading
Don’t pour your life story out/On every handy ear
Face the fact-Your life is a bore/Or else you wouldn’t still be here… I haven’t really felt well the past few days, and despite the delightful weather I’ve mostly just hung out around the Lair. Consequently there just isn’t anything … Continue reading
Yeah? How’d that work out?
Park Service director blames threat of terrorism for closing Mall during shutdown The National Park Service director told Congress on Wednesday that he had to shut down the open-air memorials on the Mall during the government shutdown because of terrorism, … Continue reading
Once in a while a conservative gets lost and wanders in here…
…and he thumbs past the posts about chickens and dogs and firewood until he gets to something political, and he reads that, and maybe he sees me ragging on conservatives. And seeing that I am not a conservative, he concludes … Continue reading









































