Author Archives: Joel

…you need to get over those kneejerk assumptions of guilt. On the other hand if you just assume I’m doing this because I’m mean, you may be my ex-wife. Or correct. Whichever. I do believe that’s the fattest raccoon I’ve … Continue reading →

Alternate Title: I Am Not the Unibomber. Live by yourself long enough, hang out only with fellow travelers, and it’s easy to forget that you actually represent a vanishingly tiny minority. A couple of days ago I impulsively posted a … Continue reading →

I should channel “that guy” more often. Like when I’m working with the only really expensive and essential tool I own. Q: Dear Survival Man: My chainsaw won’t start. I checked the spark plug, and I don’t seem to have … Continue reading →

…but then Detroit is my home town. And even though I haven’t lived in the city proper since the sixties, I was in and out of the ‘burbs until the turn of the century and I’ve seen what progressivism and … Continue reading →

Recently I got a paying gig with Ian’s tractor that netted me two hundred bucks after I replaced the diesel I burned. I always say I’m going to save up for siding, which is the last big thing the Lair … Continue reading →

But to do so efficiently, they must ensure that they get home at night. Which is why Officer Safety is Paramount. There are lots of citizens, after all, and only so many officers. Of all the dead puppy, wrong-house raid, … Continue reading →

‘Course, I’m only halfway through my first cup of coffee. This is why I want a game camera, right here. Unfortunately most camera footage is far less eventful, but if you find the right tree to point it at you … Continue reading →

Little Bear and I have a game I call “Go Around.” Ian has seen this game and could testify that it can have me laughing so hard I can barely stay upright, when I’m in the right mood and LB … Continue reading →

When she was loading software on this new ‘pooter, Claire included a video editor because that’s something I’ve wanted to learn. We’re missing a necessary thing or two, like a real video camera, but mostly I just want to learn … Continue reading →

I don’t even know why, exactly. All I did was sit. But you know, after a couple of years of intermittently futzing around with Ian’s tractor and only slightly improving my skill in using it, I think maybe what I … Continue reading →

…who’s going to notice two more gasbags in Washington? Pentagon to deploy huge blimps over Washington, DC for 360-degree surveillance

I was on Ian’s tractor from eight this morning until sometime just after noon, pausing only for quick tree-watering breaks. And I’m only about 2/3 done. My neighbor and best customer J looked around and noticed that the manure pile … Continue reading →

There’s a union, a wonderful union, called the National Treasury Employees Union. And it represents people, hardworking people, who labor night and day in a organization called the Internal Revenue Service. And these people, dedicated people, have been given a … Continue reading →

The entire IT staff here at the Secret Lair has been treading on eggshells for the past two days, biting its collective lip in anxiety and waiting for the sudden but inevitable betrayal of the new ‘pooter’s file system. This … Continue reading →

I shouldn’t give progressives rent-free space in my head, I know that. But sometimes I do. I’ve been brooding about things Heidi Yewman said in her article. Sometimes the Internet is a wonderful thing. Usually. I’ve occasionally speculated that it’s … Continue reading →

Kurt Hofmann seems to be going for the TJIC prize. You decide: Would you class this as a death threat, if you were named in the paragraph? We are often told that the terrorists “hate us for our freedoms.” One … Continue reading →

What a shock. Remember Heidi Yewman, the Brady Bunch activist who “bought a handgun and will carry it everywhere I go over the next 30 days”? I have four rules: Carry it with me at all times, follow the laws … Continue reading →

I blame Michael and Claire. This new ‘pooter is not only newer and less rickety with functioning sound, it’s better. Maybe it’s the later OS, Claire chided me for my version of Mint which is about fourteen generations old, or … Continue reading →

I’m reaping the benefits of goodwill today, boy. A Dell Latitude D620 kindly donated by reader Michael G., who went to a great deal of trouble to buy it from a university surplus sale, then shipped it to Claire, who … Continue reading →

Oh, look what I’ve got. Inside that plywood box is a gasoline generator with which I have managed to amass quite a history. I really don’t know what I did to deserve it. It arrived on Landlady’s property, attached to … Continue reading →