Author Archives: Joel

The war on men… Pretty soon, men will not be allowed out in public unescorted by a woman or some authority. I think it’s possible that every guy has a story like this. Maybe not thrown out of the store … Continue reading →

Napping with your head in the water bowl makes perfect sense. Snuggling with a big, black furry creature makes…less.

It’s just a little .gif, but I’ve had trouble with those. So go here and see the mighty feline shot in 300-O-Vision.

…And I do the damndest things with them. So I go over for shit-shoveling at J&H’s yesterday morning, right? And J&H had guests from the city over the weekend, and apparently went out and bought a bunch of food that … Continue reading →

(“New” = forty years old, and I’m sure everybody’s forgotten about it)

As regular readers are aware, my cat is broken. Not broken broken, you know, all her parts seem to still function. She respirates oxygen and consumes kibble. But her Wanna Kill Mice switch seems all gummed up, and I don’t … Continue reading →

…and we’re all supposed to post pix of ourselves open carrying, or something. I don’t normally pay attention to holidays, especially when they’re artificially declared to “raise awareness” of stuff… But still. For the cause, here’s Joel’s waist in full … Continue reading →

O: Hey, at least I didn’t call you Chimpy McHitler, you f**king fascist. B: Shut up and smile for the camera, you f**king commie. And stop poking me.

You can get further into them than is really good for your social life. Just sayin’. London’s answer to OSHA will definitely have something to say about the bludgers. And watch the brooms around the nannycams, because there’s almost certainly … Continue reading →

Though the rock situation has been resolved – explosively, in one case – we’re back to my old nemesis “not enough parts.” M wants to run a water line for a faucet in the curved front wall between the Dome … Continue reading →

Good news: Obama alienates Poland by referring to “Polish death camps” Bad News: The United States government has a president who will say absolutely anything, if it appears on a Teleprompter screen. Worse News: The United States government has fallen … Continue reading →

…that doesn’t mean you want to screw with her. Felice the Mare came home from training the other day. She’d gotten kind of barn-sour with her previous owners. Horses are like old hermits: Once they get the idea they don’t … Continue reading →

Expiration dates on stuff that doesn’t easily go bad. I love them. Saturday morning M showed up at the Secret Lair, and he was holding not his usual rilly cool gun for show and tell but a case of beer. … Continue reading →

…though I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to know who they are. Cool production, though. As so often, I’m not sure exactly what the product placement is trying to say. “Pepsi, the soft drink of hated tyrants” really can’t be the … Continue reading →

Shambling, filthy, abysmally stupid, neither alive nor fully dead, obsessively driven to consume the flesh of others… But enough about congressmen. Let’s discuss how they’ll keep taxing zombies when they finally show up.

Barbara Tuchman would be very disappointed in them. Wilhelm II rolls in his grave. Who* in 1935 would ever have thought the Germans would end up being the grown-ups of Europe? And they still can’t get any respect. —*Besides Germans, … Continue reading →

Reading over at Claire’s this morning, she’s talking about the joys of growing old. The example of one of those joys struck a chord. Once when I was much younger somebody told me, “Some guys are just meant to be … Continue reading →

I’ve still got it. Private to Unreconstructed, if you’re out there: Your kind gift of a few years ago saved me some hours of breaking rocks in the hot sun. Thanks! See, there was this rock. It wasn’t much of … Continue reading →

A Sheriff’s spokeswoman is denying reports that the department has offered to pay for the damages.

It turns out I’m immortal.