Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

When I lived in the Midwest, I hated tree squirrels.

As far as they were concerned, they owned the yard and I was just there to present new, entertaining bird feeders that – no matter how apparently foolproof – could not stop them. This was suburban Detroit, so I couldn’t … Continue reading

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These kids today…

Oy, how I wish I’d brought my camera. Today, being Tuesday, is a normal shit-shoveling day. And I was sitting at the ‘pooter this morning, waiting for it to warm up a bit before I took the boys to Gitmo … Continue reading

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Hey, I take my celebrations where I can find them.

The weather forecast promised thick clouds and snow for today. So naturally it’s gorgeous: No smallest cloud in the sky, mild weather, not a breath of wind. Good thing, too. I needed to collect wood. Having done that, it was … Continue reading

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Synchronize your watches, For The Children!

H/T to Balko, who wins today’s Internets with the best headline.

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Whew! Dodged that one!

So I see this article titled, “Analyst Predicts Fisker’s Demise,” and my eyes see that as “Fiskars,” and for a second there I thought I’d missed out. Because I want one of these: And really don’t know what I’d do … Continue reading

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Holy Mackerel, Andy!

Okay, so here’s Round Four in the on-going soap opera, “Teach Joel How to Bake Bread” I’ve been using a recipe for white bread found in an old Good Housekeeping cookbook, and slavish adherence to measured portions has not been … Continue reading

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Well, at least he’s honest about being dishonest…

H/T to Borepatch.

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And once again, thanks to some asshole…

…I get ready for what might turn out to be a bad day. In the name of philosophical purity, I usually think Thomas Hobbes was wrong about everything – including what he had for breakfast the day he wrote his … Continue reading

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Sarcasm: We Haz Sum

Hee… From now on our police will have the means to turn the hum drum work of small town policing into an exciting war mission. When they bust some friends playing poker they will no longer be the annoying busybodies … Continue reading

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And amid a flurry of text messages, we’re back to “FERAL.”

A pack of pit bulls just killed a neighbor’s cow. The ones I saw were very like pit bulls. My dog-o-meter dropped from “feral” to “stray” last week, and now it has returned to “feral.” Not to mention “shoot on … Continue reading

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The sort of thing I get up to at three in the morning

CAUTION: The following content almost certainly will not help you get through any part of your day. You Have Been Warned. When living close to the edge, everything becomes about resource management. You’ve got this much stuff, and to get … Continue reading

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Oh, well if Hillary said it, it must be true.

See, I’ve been ridiculing the whole “global warming” thing because if Inconvenient Al said it it must be a lie. But this is completely different. Faulting the world for not doing enough to fight climate change, the United States on … Continue reading

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Sit back, close your eyes and inhale the irony of this.

Made in the USA: Georgia factory exports chopsticks to China The best part, the cherry on top, is the very first part of the very first sentence. Hope and change, baby. Hope and change.

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Y’know, when people first started talking about this thing called the “world wide web…”

…it was most frequently in the context of denouncing it for the ease with which it brought this other thing called “porn” into the household. Naturally, I just had to try some of that. But I must have been going … Continue reading

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I dunno how you’re gonna get missiles on them if they’re that small.

From the “it would be really bad if Bush had done this” department, this: As America’s drone war begins a new surge in Pakistan, the U.S. House and Senate have both approved the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) Reauthorization Act bill, … Continue reading

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Hey, who told winter it could intrude?

I’ve been having this idyllic non-winter, when suddenly… Y’know, rain is okay and snow is okay, but sleet is just half-hearted snow. And sleet, interspersed with rain, is what I got all morning yesterday. Yeesh. Finally, in the afternoon, it … Continue reading

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Wait. Ron Paul’s a whacko, okay, I got that. But…

… I’m supposed to take this douche seriously? One of the things I will talk about that no President has talked about before is I think the dangers of contraception in this country, the whole sexual libertine idea. Many in … Continue reading

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I just got the news…

While I was clicking on the post below, my inbox beeped at me. I got an email from an old internet friend, longtime freedom-lover and delightful activist Iliolo Jones. Her husband Douglas has been fighting cancer for many months, and … Continue reading

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Okay, who did this?

Was this something you actually put time into? Or does YouTube have an app for that? I … GUESS I’m flattered…

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Trying to Perform One Complete and Complex Thought, and Remember it…

Just something I scrawled in my notebook this morning, while waiting for the power to come up. I’ll check back later and see if it’s gibberish. Whenever you meet somebody who wants to tell you about your “duty” to something … Continue reading

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