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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Somebody send this link to the Ogden PD.
£100,000 bill for police spy blimp let down by weather The blimp, which was unmanned, had a sophisticated camera mounted underneath that could swivel 360 degrees and film up to a mile away. Unfortunately, the outer skin would rip and … Continue reading
OMG, I know the guy!
Well, I don’t actually know him, but it still hits kinda close to home. I wondered yesterday why one of my favorite daily reads was down. Now I know. I’ve linked often to posts from a blog called “Dispatches from … Continue reading
My love of law enforcement officers…
I’ve implied from time to time that I’m not a huge fan of the law enforcement industry, as a whole. The truth is I’ve toned it down consistently, every time the subject has come up, because my views on the … Continue reading
The ice block finally broke!
YAY! I may not have any running water here at the Landlady’s property, but full pressure has been restored at The Secret Lair! Whoo hoo!
First AND second amendment violations simultaneously!
If they’d quartered some soldiers in his house while they were at it, they’d have had a hat trick. Arlington Man Loses Gun License Due To Blog About Tucson Shooting Police are investigating the “suitability” of 39-year-old Travis Corcoran to … Continue reading
She’s only trying to help, GL!
The Grey Lady links to these real world working mom tips from a lady who’s done her research, interviewing Working Moms from Beverly Hills to – er – someplace else really exclusive; tips offered (I [snort] have no doubt) with … Continue reading
The trickle rate is increasing, anyway…
We’ve had a couple of lovely afternoons here at the Gulch. Snow on the ground is mostly reduced to shade-sheltered patches, with afternoon temps in the mid-fifties. I’ve gotta hand-wash some clothes today, so of course today the wind is … Continue reading
Curses! Scooped again!
Just about the time I was snarking about the implementation of Kali’s new anti-ammo law, Uncle was reporting that it had been repealed by a Kali court as “unconstitutionally vague.” I wasn’t aware that was a bar to passing laws, … Continue reading
Brilliant idea, sir. I’m sure we’ll all be saved.
From KISS comes the story of a Utah town that claims to have found a New! Improved! way to patrol the unfriendly skies… SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (Reuters) – A proposed unmanned floating airship surveillance system is being hailed by … Continue reading
From the “Tell me again why you live there” department…
Yet another reason not to live in California, as if more were needed. While the holiday shopping season is long gone, some Humboldt County residents are stocking up on ammunition for fear of a new California law that goes into … Continue reading
I’m shocked. Shocked!
…to find demands for information going on here. A Framingham District Court judge yesterday impounded two search warrants connected to last week’s drug raid and subsequent fatal shooting of a 68-year-old retired MBTA worker in his home by a police … Continue reading
I have seen the future…
…And it has more cowbell. I still want a .44 wheelgun, one day, if I can find it and afford it. But gingerbread is for cookies and Victorian architecture. If my pistol outweighs my M1A, I may as well carry … Continue reading
Pressure Pump Update…
Got an email from Landlady, saying the service company needs to order more parts before they can service the pump. So I’ll still be hauling water for a while. As of today I may be going to Plan C, because … Continue reading
Okay! I’ll go. Just stop describing me.
Clearly somebody’s been peeking in my window. You are a surly, disorganized loner with all the finely-honed fiscal acumen of a congressman after a three-martini lunch combined with the driving ambition of a tree sloth.
A Modest Proposal…
Our wise, sefless public servants have suffered too long under the fear of being intimidated and threatened by syphilis-maddened hoi polloi, the unenlightened rednecks who take time from their busy schedules of beating their wives and impregnating their daughters to … Continue reading
Shite, shite, shite…
Two weeks I’ve gone without running water, because it was just too cold to deal with the system. Two weeks. When I got back from the city I noticed two things that bothered me, but 21o below zero put it … Continue reading
The normal activity of a proofreader is indistinguishable from…
My neighbor J told me about this yesterday… Yike. And I thought I had no social life in the city. At least there were people in the office I said hi to from time to time…
Why I like sixties music…
My neighbor, in whose dining room I’ve sat for the past three days doing stuff for money, has one of those Sirius radio thingies. Another neighbor has one and I’ve long regarded it as something that exists only to annoy … Continue reading
Yup – good day.
Ironically so, because it’s a beautiful afternoon. Temps almost in the fifties, clear skies. A bit too much mud because all yesterday’s snow melted in a hurry, but you can’t have everything. Ironic because I spent the bulk of that … Continue reading









































