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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Attempt at an illustration for some stories…
…which just really didn’t work out, did it? The stories are about a cedar rat named Shadow. I took it a couple of days ago when we had some sun, and just now sorted it out of the camera. I … Continue reading
Now THIS is the sort of thing I get wadded up over…
Been seeing a lot of rat (once even a squirrel) incursions in the pantry for some time. Mostly they attacked dog food, which isn’t that big a disaster; the jays eat as much dog food as the boys do, and … Continue reading
Who gives a shitdarn what they think?
Over the past few days of web-crawling I keep getting directed to a Forbes article from some guy named Bruce Bartlett, whom I’ve barely heard of, but who has apparently outraged Libertarians from sea to shining sea. This sunny, cool … Continue reading
Click’s New Worshipper
This has been going on for some time now, but always when I was nowhere near the camera. I mentioned that Click was the only one of the animals that seemed afraid of Little Bear when he first arrived, even … Continue reading
Betcha didn’t have enough to be afraid of this morning, so…
…let me fix that for you. Maine Takes Aim at Dangers of ‘Green’ Lightbulbs It can seem a green contradiction: Compact fluorescent lights – those spiral energy-efficient bulbs used to fight global warming – contain mercury, a toxic metal. If … Continue reading
That song you woke up with…
I need to start a category for this. I wake up humming a totally irrelevant song, often one I haven’t even thought of for years, and I don’t…know…why! I must have a very colorful dream life; wish it would let … Continue reading
Tourists – Feh!
So yesterday afternoon the boys and I heard engines – lots of engines. Something approached over the neighboring ridge, and it sounded like it was bringing friends. We ran up the driveway to see what was what. Ghost, always open … Continue reading
Here’s a cheery fellow…
“The Worst Is Yet to Come”: If You’re Not Petrified, You’re Not Paying Attention
Okay, this makes exactly no sense.
Remember that kerfuffle last year when HS Precision published a product endorsement by Lon (I Aim For The Stars, But Sometimes I Hit Nursing Mothers) Horiuchi, and then wondered why all their faithful customers surrounded their building with torches and … Continue reading
Misadventures in Gardening
Okay, so the gulch has this garden plot, right? And the only thing it grows is a rosemary bush that clearly loves it there, and an occasional twig of asparagus. So I figure – Hey! I’m supposed to be this … Continue reading
Rachel Maddow on “Prolonged Detention”
Well, I’m glad some talking head gets it…
This’ll be fun to watch…
Governator plans to completely eliminate welfare for families You know, if this is the kind of threat you think you have to make, you might consider the quality of the people you’re threatening…
Learning to Photograph Again
Photographing moving objects is a lot like shooting them with a rifle; which I guess is why they call it ‘shooting’. When you’ve got your range and your lead, you squeeze the trigger (or shutter) and you want the gun … Continue reading
An excellent weekend!
Well, the landlady’s on her way home, and I hope she doesn’t hit too much holiday traffic on the way. We had a great, very productive weekend making the barn less of a clutter collection and more of a … … Continue reading
Rain! Rain!
All that planning. All that scheming, all those lists! Did I remember to build an ark? I did not. And now I’m up to my keister in mud. If it keeps up like this the washes are going to be … Continue reading
Yesterday’s Obama speech was simply breathtaking.
The sheer chutzpa of standing in front of a crowd, claiming you will now right all historical wrongs by closing Guantanamo and locking the prisoners in supermax prisons without trial instead, expecting (and receiving!) applause for having ‘re-established American principles’… … Continue reading
White flowers?
C.M. wrote yesterday: If I may be so bold what kind of flowers/weeds are those tufts of white flowers? Well… I think you mean these: And I’m not sure they qualify as flowers at all, plus I have no idea … Continue reading









































