Operation Fast and Fretless

You know your scandal has arrived when Iowahawk starts lampooning it.

Responding to a Freedom of Information Act request, Justice Department officials admitted that the guitars were part of a complicated sting program known as “Operation Fast and Fretless,” ostensibly designed to stem traffic of illegal guitars and amplifiers between the U.S. and Mexico. The multi-agency program – involving Justice, ICE, TSA, EPA, IRS, FDA, Fish & Wildlife, USDA, and the Bureau of Whiskey, Groupies & Hotel Rooms – reportedly encouraged border area pawn shops to sell the guitars to known drug kingpins.

Justice spokesman Gary Evans said the Nogales incident yesterday showed the program was a success. “By putting American guitars in the hands of Mexican gangs, I think we’ve proven what we’ve warned all along – that Mexican gangs have access to American guitars. Hopefully this will lead to sane and sensible guitar controls.”

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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3 Responses to Operation Fast and Fretless

  1. Joel did you know the DOJ AND THE DEPARTMENT OF FISH AND WILDLIFE raided the Gibson guitar factory looking for protected woods?

    They also seized over half million in wood in 2009, all legal and it has never been returned.


  2. well of course you do, Face palm…I seem to figure just because I have been out of the loop for most of the summer…I’ll go now she says slinking off in embarrasement….bother.

    Ok your word verification is creepy tonight; unfret. come on…

  3. Anonymous says:

    The Bureau of Whiskey, Groupies & Hotel Rooms ?

    Are they taking applications? I can show them a bunch of experience with two of those categories and a high level of Interest in the third category. [Groupies] What did you think I was talking about?

    I think Grey Lady is right. This recaptcha thing is being scary.
    Now the word is clost.

    I wonder ? if it means “see lost” [as in my usual condition]or “close – to” ?

    Scary I tell you,


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