Your driveway doesn’t have problems like this…

There was a lot more of this on the game camera’s mem card and I tried off and on for 2 days to make a more extensive .gif but my up/download speed has been the worst lately. So we’ll have to settle for this snippet because I’d like to clear the card and turn the camera back on.

I haven’t complained much about the cattle so far this year because so far they really haven’t been any hassle at all. At most they give Torso Boy a reason to vocally yearn for his ancestral Welsh plains from time to time. Even when a herd finally made its way through my yard as captured by the game camera, they didn’t pause to knock a lot of stuff over and slobber over the rest.

But who’s cleaning up my driveway, cattle? Huh? You think this is San Francisco? You do know there’s a pandemic going on, right, and that I shouldn’t have to shovel up other … creatures’ … excrement? Yeah. When I start hawking my lungs up I’m gonna track down each of your calves and cough right in their individual moronically cute little faces.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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6 Responses to Your driveway doesn’t have problems like this…

  1. TK421a says:

    Joel, you’re the only guy I know that would have a third-world problem while living in a first-world country. 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:

    They haven’t harmed the pear tree I hope?

  3. Joel says:

    No, they understand stock fencing. The tree is ringed with it to a sufficient diameter and nothing has ever taken a bite out of it.

  4. Zelda says:

    Instead of coughing in their faces, wouldn’t it be more satisfying to eat them? Lay in a supply of potatoes (boiling and roasting) and onions and mushrooms (fresh or canned) and some roasting ears and you and TB can burp your way to satisfaction.

  5. John in Philly says:

    Well, they did keep moooooving along.

To the stake with the heretic!