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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Laddie the Amazing Torso Boy 2011-2020
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Monthly Archives: May 2023
Didn’t quite make it. This time.
Every spring I have to get my wind back before I can take long dog-less walkies. Because I hate cold, and mostly cocoon through winters. The dog helps with the conditioning process but he can’t come on real expeditions. When … Continue reading
All good things…
A gift from Ian I’ve been milking for well over a year… Shared a glass with a guest in January, leaving one shot in the bottle. Finally figured what the hell, may as well polish it off. If you fancy … Continue reading
Tobie belatedly gets his bone
Busy day. Did laundry and yard chores till 11:30 when I had to run meet D&L for the long drive to the Palace of Food. Didn’t actually get home to the Lair till 3:30 because I walked a bunch of … Continue reading
“Son of a…”
Tomorrow is Senior Day at the Palace of Food, which has become a monthly ritual with D & L & I with the continuing deterioration of the crappy little food market in the crappy little town nearest where I live. … Continue reading
Getting the Lair into summer mode…
The woodstove has been put to bed for weeks now… …but I left the pilot lit in the bedroom heater for that occasional frosty night. But now it’s May and they’ll become rare enough that I don’t need to spend … Continue reading









































