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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
Oh, that’s mean.
An alert reader sent me this. No description is really necessary, though the notes say that if you put a gallon of antifreeze in the bucket you never have to check the trap. Considering how very effective this trap is … Continue reading
Good news! If you’re not an Obama fan, you’re only kinda racist.
Don’t blame me. It says so right here. Race Alone Doesn’t Explain Hatred Of Obama, But It’s Part Of The Mix For the record, I don’t hate Obama any more than I hate LB’s intestinal parasites. The whole concept of … Continue reading
What this situation needs is more Michael Moore.
Or so he seems to think. I have now seen two entirely separate articles about how Moore has nothing to say on the subject of the latest Disturbed White* Male. ‘With due respect to those who are asking me to … Continue reading
I’m not an expert at this ‘chicken farmer’ thing, but…
…there’s one thing I’ve seen before. When a hen buries her head in a corner and refuses to move, you’d better move her or kill her yourself because the other hens will peck her to death. I don’t know why … Continue reading
Everybody’s the star of his own show, and the show mostly sucks.
I read something today that put a capper on something else I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days. Rodgers had a shaman’s view of reality. Don the green cape and springtime comes. This accounts for his almost … Continue reading
Okay, so it was a partial get-together…
D&L couldn’t make it because houseguests. J&H and Darrel the Former Cop couldn’t make it because of various stuff. But S&L were there… L isn’t exactly a survivalism hardass. But you’ve never met a more family-centered lady and when one … Continue reading
LB doesn’t know his own strength…
…and under the right incitement, he doesn’t care. Yesterday was a cool and cloudy day, spitting rain, just right for spending indoors. Ghost is off visiting his mom, LB enjoyed as much time indoors with Dad as he could stand … Continue reading
Sad news has reached us here…
Just got word via Claire’s blog that Frederick, the generous, terminally-afflicted freedomista who did the Lair such a good turn earlier this year, has died. In lieu of flowers or contributions, he requests that all who remember him perpetrate “random … Continue reading
Sometimes you find this great image…
…and you’ve just got to slap a caption on it.
Strangely, I’m not surprised.
I only mention this because I brought it up a few weeks ago, and I don’t know what I was thinking to have phrased my post as if I thought this was really going to stick. I was wrong, of … Continue reading
Ain’t they cute?
I moved the four surviving RIR pullets into the Fortress of Attitude a few days ago, from where they had been living in relative bliss in Landlady’s Big Chickenhouse. For two days, they more-or-less completely refused to leave the coop. … Continue reading
A Widow’s Walk Off-Grid to Self-Reliance
A Widow’s Walk Off-Grid to Self-Reliance, by Annie Dodds I received this book from a friend a couple of weeks ago and picked it up only yesterday morning, I confess, because it was a rainy day and I didn’t want … Continue reading
Turn and face the strange
Ouch. I may be going through some changes in the next few months. The shit-shoveling gig may be ending. For a paranoid recluse, staying away from towns has its charms. The little town nearest where I live, a dying place, … Continue reading
The answer to life, the universe, and everything!
…will not be found here today. Busy morning. Instead, here are funny pictures.
Morning Five: Blut und Fell, but mostly I’m losing.
Found the rat trap sprung this morning. Nothing inside. And by ‘nothing’ I mean nothing: for the first time ever, something actually managed to eat all the peanut butter and then spring the trap. Without its head inside. There’s just … Continue reading
Anachronism can be awesome!
Linoge finally unveils the kydex race holster for his C96 Mauser – via Oleg Volk. The physical universe should collapse under the very weight of so much anachronism squeezed into so small a package. I am so gorram jealous.
Kissing the hand that rivets on your chains
I probably shouldn’t post this. I’m only typing it here because I’m too lazy to open my word processor. So if you’re reading this, don’t shoot. It’s just a rant. I’ll go have my breakfast now, and get over it.
That’s ol’ Joel, always a hit with the ladies…
When it became clear that catching chickens that didn’t want to be caught was becoming a new part of my job description, I went out and got myself a fishing net. At the time, it seemed the intelligent thing to … Continue reading
Triumph of the Scrounger’s Will
Parts of my yard are kind of embarrassing. I try to at least start with neat stacks, I really do, but between wind and packrats and dogs digging for packrats and Ghost’s never-ending quest for new and innovative shady spots, … Continue reading
Sorry, busy morning…
Ian’s in what we hope are the final stages of getting his semi-passive solar water heater going, and one of those stages required two sets of hands. He helped me by bringing the small chicken coop to the Lair and … Continue reading









































