Wow, I just spent four hours unconscious and it literally couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m happy to be of service to my friends but I won’t deny I’d like to go home now, and having that event delayed by even a couple of days kind of depressed me. So even though old Uncle Joel really isn’t much of a napper, when I got a little sleepy around eleven I went with that. To my surprise I fell right to sleep and woke up at three – just in time to meet the mail carrier for the very first time in three weeks because it turns out this was the day the vacation hold came off my friends’ mail. So I blew off four hours of boredom, caught up with my sleep, and still didn’t miss the mail. That’ll do for a good day, by recent standards.
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good