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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good
Category Archives: Uncategorized
…on mornings in the low forties. This morning circumstance had me out in it before breakfast, and it just reminded me that fingertips have poor circulation. Neighbors J&H are out of town, and both set tasks for old Uncle Joel. … Continue reading
Had a bunch of things going on today, in fact I’m still not done. Shit-shoveling, haul off a bunch of moldy old alfalfa from another neighbor, then to town with D&L. When I got back, Ghost and I hiked over … Continue reading
To the literally [insert very small number] of Americans who depend on TUAK daily for its incisive reporting on the ongoing crisis in the Middle East: I can’t keep these names straight, and I don’t even try. The “Khorosan Group” … Continue reading
Mission accomplished. Sometimes it seems like getting things done around here involves one damned improvisation after another. For example: Landlady’s ridge has no water pressure, but it does contain going on a dozen chickens that need to be watered daily. … Continue reading
Stolen from JDZ.
Sometimes, in the dark of night, I have to confess I’m really no better than the people I rant against. When I want an event to support my preferred narrative, I’m also prepared to ignore or minimize relevant facts. Yesterday’s … Continue reading
…watch her head explode. When Claire lived here I swear you had to confine Ava before you could get anything done with a garden hose. That dog did love to chase a stream of water.
Radley Balko arguing that sending this particular bad shooter cop to prison might not be the right thing to do. Or at least it might not be the most important thing to do. All of that said, watch the video … Continue reading
Because – and I say this with all the deep respect you deserve – this is not the way to convince people to convert to the ‘religion of pieces.’ I dunno. Maybe they do things differently in Yemen. Almost certainly, … Continue reading
Ah, the power of positive feedback. For a couple of years now, my old post from the Spring of 2012 on chainsaw maintenance has been getting search engine hits. The more people click on it, the higher its likelihood of … Continue reading
Most mornings I start out with a pot of coffee and a gentle-to-moderate surf of whatever’s going on out there politically. Sometimes I envy my buddy Ian who’s so outside all things political he refuses to discuss it at any … Continue reading
Today the object to be repaired is…Joel. Of course in that time styles in prosthetic feet have become substantially less humaniform. And substantially improved. This one was installed in 2008 or 2009 and did marvelous things for my mobility over … Continue reading
Yesterday I had a phone call from Ian, who was coming up in the evening: “Hey, Joel! I’m standing here in Dillon Precision (because Ian does things like that) and they’ve got .44 bullets. Plus I’ve got your money from … Continue reading
This is actually pretty good, as NRA videos go. Except may I say that the term “Second amendment right” grates on me a lot. Providing my own self-protection would still be my right if the constitution specifically forbade it. I … Continue reading
“Oh, and make it so they have to wear a bright yellow shirt that says ‘Poopyhead.’ That’d be funny.”
Okay, so Washington D.C. lawmakers stopped kicking and screaming yesterday long enough to pass a concealed carry law. I was amused by the gunbloggers who reported themselves shocked! Shocked! that it was ‘may-issue.’ Seriously, the big news is that a … Continue reading
Because seriously? ‘Sovereign Citizen’ Terrorist Group May Be Growing in U.S. American law enforcement officials view sovereign citizens as the No. 1 potential terrorist threat in the United States, according to a 2014 study. For those who ask, “Uncle Joel, … Continue reading
Here’s the world famous woodsman, doing woodsy things to wood. I don’t usually get serious about firewood until sometime in October, but lately it’s been piling up in the yard due to other gigs and needs to be cut and … Continue reading