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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good
Category Archives: Uncategorized
…that water can fall right out of the sky? For hour after hour? For, like, days? I’m in charge of weather around here, and the boys are becoming increasingly critical of my mismanagement. Personally I have several books I could … Continue reading
…is that a visit from the two actual property-holders, Landlady and Ian, is more likely than not to bring horrid weather where before there were clear skies and fair temps. Over the past couple of months their visits have set … Continue reading
I’ve got care package acknowledgements to make, observations about synchronicity to bloviate about, posts that will transform your life for the better in utterly cosmic ways. But I feel like crap and it’s been a lousy day and all I … Continue reading
Ok, you guys know Ian is a close friend of mine. So if his new offering of Inrange.tv were a total failure, I’d just sort of go silent. Obviously I hope he does well, but first he’s obligated to do … Continue reading
“Don’t Drone Me, Bro!” Virginia’s special “Don’t Tread on Me” license plate featuring the Gadsden flag has exploded in popularity since its introduction. It has quickly overtaken many other specialty license plates in the Old Dominion. If anybody out there … Continue reading
I’m just sayin’: If you’re doing it this way, you’re doing it wrong. At Ohio State University, to avoid being guilty of “sexual assault” or “sexual violence,” you and your partner now apparently have to agree on the reason WHY … Continue reading
While the Alpha-Plus citizens are forced to tend to the needs of smelly, nasty horses… …we happy Epsilons seek hearty exercise in the rock gullies. We practice our boy scout knots on the wood snags… …then jerk them into the … Continue reading
In several states, killing a K9 dog is a serious felony. It’s universally a crime of some sort. Unless…
Ah, you already guessed it. If you’re the cop who’s actually responsible for the dog, it’s apparently a minor disciplinary matter. And the “have mercy, I’m an orphan now” defense actually works. Duplin County Sheriff Blake Wallace says Dep. Kevin … Continue reading
You all know my buddy Ian, who runs Forgotten Weapons. For some years now Ian and I have had a running love/hate relationship with gun-related “reality” TV shows like Top Shot or the lately-infamous Sons of Guns. We love the … Continue reading
So this morning – just so you wouldn’t have to – I read a Mother Jones article long-form advertisement for Mothers Demand Attention. I dunno why – it was six in the morning and I was already bored, I guess. … Continue reading
So…day two hauling increasingly large wooden things out of Neighbor J’s rock gully. Recall that this was supposed to be just a pile of brush, with maybe a few big chunks near the bottom. Uh huh. I cut out the … Continue reading
Query: Why oh why would anybody ever, in a billion zillion years, believe a single syllable of a single word this guy ever said on any subject, no matter how mundane or uncontroversial?
Just wondering. You wouldn’t hire me as a voice of youth, or to write a fashion & glamour column, or as an athlete in any track & field event whatever. Why not? Because as an old one-legged raggedy hermit I’m … Continue reading
…does come to mind. Neighbor J, by far my most dependable employer, has for years been bothered by two big piles of roadkill juniper. When clearing and leveling a space for a house, it was the most common practice to … Continue reading
Over at the Adaptive Curmudgeon there’s a discussion about hoarding and its effect on .22 price and availability. The Mudge, like many people, assumes the shortage is caused by hoarding but I’m not sure I buy it. I looked for … Continue reading
But I try not to ever let that stop me. H/T to Vanderboegh.
Regular readers will recall that this spring I helped neighbor D dig and pour the columns for the all-around veranda they planned for their earthbag & strawbale extravaganza. Two years ago they spent all season mudding the strawbales, and last … Continue reading
Heard about it for years before I found out it was real. When I was a kid I thought it was a gag. But no, the Germans really did build a gadget that let them shoot a rifle around corners. … Continue reading
So Friday morning the boys and I are over at J&H’s, right? And shit-shoveling was over, except it wasn’t because I still had to fill up the Jeep trailer. That was okay, though, because it didn’t rain all week and … Continue reading
…but we’re getting there. Yesterday was overcast all day, and that means I should find my entertainment in ways that don’t involve electricity. My nice newish batteries only hold so much magic juice. This morning around five I went out … Continue reading
Ban this! Ban that! Ban the other thing over there! Gad, you’re boring. And when you’re against everything and for nothing, you will invariably get bitten on the ass by your own oppressive nihilism. Erika Quinn who described herself as … Continue reading