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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Yeah. I said that. Because I’m a putz. Turns out he was just hiding out in the pumphouse, giggling, waiting for me to notice. I need a gadget. Maybe an app. Maybe go oldschool with a really loud gong. I … Continue reading
Got this from Landlady this morning… The Honeymoon is Over: Chicken Honesty When we finally got our first flock of chicks, each fluff-ball was socialized daily, fed from hand and given a special name best suited to his/her personality. Special … Continue reading
We’ve had a fairly extended cool spell, with night temps at least dipping briefly into the teens and sometimes substantially colder than that for eleven straight nights. Very far from record cold, but cold enough that I can stop saying, … Continue reading
I used to really enjoy reading Dave Barry, back when his column was in the Detroit News. That was a long time ago, I kind of lost touch with him as a humorist for several years, and now when I … Continue reading
Is something I used to hate far more than freezing in the light, which is just sometimes part of a day’s work. Waking to cold, not having the juice to push back the dark with any authority…There were years when … Continue reading
Pittsburgh police responded to the call about a fatal accident in Homewood at about 8:50 a.m. “…so I went back to bed.” Police: Man found dead under van that fell on him while trying to steal wheels Before you trust … Continue reading
Spent a couple of hours yesterday afternoon just moving things around from where they are to where they ought to be. Brought firewood to Landlady’s place, at last. Moved some stuff she wanted moved from her barn to Ian’s Cave. … Continue reading
…it’s good to have neighbors around, I guess. When the ground is freezing, it’s best if one of them has a backhoe. I’m afraid Neighbor L is in the process of losing the second old dog in far-too-quick succession.
There were advantages to a chimney fire phobia: When you’re cleaning your stovepipe every 4-5 days it never gets very sooty. I could knock the whole job out while the bread was rising. Should have considered that before I started … Continue reading
Being true to your ideals really sucks sometimes. It’s been four days short of a month – yes, I looked it up – since I discovered a can of Plan B coffee was four years out of date and decided … Continue reading
Twice a day for five days I’ve made my way across the eastern plateau and up a mesa to the really cool house of my distant neighbors T&S, to take care of their dogs and horses. One nice thing about … Continue reading
New Details Emerge From Bizarre Police Shooting This is not a new incident but the article is only a couple of weeks old and too funny to ignore. I have edited but added nothing, and will only comment that if … Continue reading
I replaced the Lair’s toilet with its very first brand-new one in February of last year, so not quite two years ago. You’d think that qualifies as practically brand-new, but that’s because you don’t have to deal with our water. … Continue reading
Not that this is nearly as cold as one of those Michigan plumbing repairs would have been in the second week of December. In fact when I was working on the sunny side of the house it was quite comfortably … Continue reading
If only Al Franken had left a woman to die in an air pocket in his submerged Oldsmobile instead of striking a grope-pose for laughs on a sleeping woman protected by a flak jacket, then his fellow Democrats might have … Continue reading
At the time that I discovered the big water leak under the cabin, I was already committed to making a loaf of bread and a chicken pie. The bread came out well, and that was more or less the last … Continue reading
Even while I was writing my boast about how it won’t freeze, and if it does freeze it won’t break, I knew I was tempting Uncle Murphy with my hubris. Nemesis followed promptly. It’s baking day. I filled the mixing … Continue reading
…but stay in the mid-teens at night. I’ve retired the chickens’ waterers for now, because when they freeze getting them unfrozen is a complicated and usually messy chore. I have some cheap stainless steel bowls I only use for chickens … Continue reading