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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Good news, everyone! Peak Derp has been achieved. Actually it was achieved several years ago, but I only now learned about it over at Uncle’s place. Yes, the Gripshot. For those times when mounting your secondary weapon on your primary … Continue reading
Okay, here’s one of those “a new study shows” articles that shows nothing new at all… Study Finds Employers Are Hiring More Freelancers To Avoid Obamacare Obamacare was only imposed on us in 2010 and I haven’t had a “real” … Continue reading
11 Times Gaby Espino Totally Slayed Your Entire Life It’s the title. Who the $%^& is Gaby Espino, and how did she slay my life? I don’t care enough to actually click the link and find out. So please forgive … Continue reading
In regard to a South Carolina reciprocity law… “Everybody wants the right to carry a gun and that’s dangerous in a free society,” [SC Rep Wendell] Gilliard said. “We should not allow that.”
…maybe you were more attached to that old shirt than you thought you were when you threw it away. I’ve got half a dozen longsleeved t-shirts, picked up in one thrift store or another at one time or another. They’re … Continue reading
When Bloomberg says something uncharacteristically sensible, he’s either had a stroke-induced moment of clarity or he’s just being a hypocrite. Which would be perfectly consistent. “[I]n a macro sense, one of the most dangerous places on a college campus is … Continue reading
Or would that be coloral appropriation? h/t
Good luck out there. Me, I’m instituting a ‘shoot strangers on sight’ policy, using Ian’s stuff for plausible deniability. Believing in two genders is a ‘hate crime’ under police investigation at Catholic college Both the police and the [Loyola Marymount] … Continue reading
Uncle Joel is having a moral crisis. I was checking my chicken pellet usage yesterday and being appalled at the chunk my newbies have taken out of #150 in only two months. And I was thinking, ‘those pullets turn a … Continue reading
…um…Oh yeah! Darwin Award! Realizing his home was being broken into, the homeowner yelled, “Don’t come in here, I have a gun!”. Boyd, with his face covered by a bandana, ignored the warning and eventually “physically forced himself in through … Continue reading
Yesterday morning he disappeared to go hang with Landlady. Possibly having enjoyed as much of Dharma’s company as he cared to, he wandered over to S&L’s and spent the night there. As they were packing to leave ahead of the … Continue reading
I checked to see if this article was a parody, it’s that perfect. A serial rapist was killed by a runaway trailer while distracted by pornography on his cell phone in Tennessee – just half a mile from where he … Continue reading
Yesterday I went out to the county road to pick up Landlady, because given the forecast only an idiot would drive her little townie car to the wrong side of what’s likely to be miles of mud by tomorrow. I … Continue reading
With the opportunity to make chicken pies arising suddenly out of the ruins of a bread bake gone bad, I had to plan on the fly. Since I’m also still learning this, results were bound to be…uneven. First one out … Continue reading
Never saw much more than a glimpse of the sun today, and the weekend is supposed to be pretty wet. So it looks like we’re back on an austerity budget with the juice. End of April, and I’m blessing myself … Continue reading
I think the main lesson we should take from this is “Ian and Karl have a flamethrower now.”
Woke this morning playing out all the things that needed to get done. It’s been an awful week for weather, as I gather it is all up and down this longitude. I’ve been out in it rather more than I … Continue reading
h/t Yeah, some day you guys will be sitting around the internment camps saying, “Hey, remember Joel? And that time they found that picture on his computer? Man! I didn’t know you could squash a person that flat.”