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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means "The Ultimate Argument of Kings," and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. "We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it's about: You'll do as I say or I'll send my goons to kill you."
I thought about that for a long time. If there's an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I've got bullets - he's got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that's not going to happen. So if there's an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain't bullets.
It finally came to me - and that's when I left the city, abandoned a goodly percentage of my goods, and gave all that was behind me a good, stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Songs of Bad Men and Good
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Knowing you just paid $130 for a shovel. But wait! There’s more! This isn’t just any shovel, you mall ninjas. This is the tacticalest shovel in the entire physical universe. Includes Over 12 tools & carry bag: Shovel Axe Hammer … Continue reading
We had an impressive windstorm yesterday afternoon, gusting to a full gale on the ridgetops. Often an afternoon windstorm means a change of weather, but April windstorms generally just mean it’s April. I didn’t give it much thought. So naturally … Continue reading
MJR sent me a link to this, with the note “Look at the money you are saving by doing what you do.” Swallow any coffee that may be present before clicking that link, you have been warned.
…if it weren’t a gun-free paradise? I don’t know which is more appalling: The casualty rate so far this year, or the fact that they’re actually a little behind the curve from last year! The number of people shot in … Continue reading
Boy, I’ve gotten older in the past eight or ten years. I have a cache up in canyon country that I haven’t visited in quite a while. It’s a last-ditch emergency cache, having nothing to do with natural emergencies like … Continue reading
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, he added hastily. And not that we hear the phrase “free country” much anymore anyway…
It’s a windy season in a windy place. Walking with Little Bear, I’m always looking for blown trash that needs to be carried back to the Lair. Today on the noontime walkie I saw a bit of blue paper… Must … Continue reading
What a beautiful day. By nine it was t-shirt weather, which meant let’s do a couple of laundry loads… It takes a restful hour to go through a couple of buckets of laundry, and this will probably be the first … Continue reading
How did Cuomo make $783,000 on memoir that sold 3,200 copies? In all, Cuomo has made $783,000 from HarperCollins for his book. The book sold 3,200 copies since it was published in the fall of 2014, according to tracking company … Continue reading
Let’s turn this over to our Poet Laureate… “I’m getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I’m tired of f*cking Earth Day, I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong … Continue reading
This is the third time it’s happened in April alone; it’s a traveling month for S&L and every time they load up the car Ghost gets relegated to Uncle Joel’s Cabin. Which he has decided he hates, at least relative … Continue reading
I don’t remember where I found this. For the record I believe this tactic is illegal in Alberta so don’t get caught.
Bill O’Reilly Paid Up to $25 Million in Fox News Exit Deal That is equivalent to one year of a rich new four-year deal that O’Reilly finalized earlier this year. The network and its parent company, 21st Century Fox, completed … Continue reading
These things get a little heavier. I swear it’s true.
Still haven’t figured out what I’m doing wrong with that bread flour (S’s theory of too much kneading is attractive but not entirely persuasive) but this is what a good loaf looks like made with all-purpose flour. An earlier search … Continue reading
…of assault on a government tree. Upon discovery of McClanahan’s suspicious ethnicity, the body was turned over to The Department of Homeland Security for investigation of possible terrorist connections. It is currently undergoing enhanced interrogation, and early reports mention a … Continue reading
Which in turn can cure obesity. Win/win. This guy, who’s apparently running for Parliament, actually said on television that the two countries that come to his mind that have gotten a handle on their citizens’ obesity problems are…North Korea and … Continue reading
This has been a simulated denial of service brought to you by the good folks at Whatever Government Agency Frightens Joel Most. This has only been a test. If this had been a genuine denial of service Joel would be … Continue reading