So I’m over at J&H’s for Friday shit-shoveling. H and L have Avalon and Belle saddled up, and H is warming Avalon up in the round pen.
I’ve finished cleaning Avalon’s corral. Avalon is on a grass diet and produces as much shit, in volume, as the other three combined so I’m on my way to dump the wagon at the manure pile when all hell breaks loose in the round pen.
I happen to think Avalon is the most beautiful of H’s horses. I enjoy watching her go through her moves, which is why I was looking right at her when she got too close to the fence and caught a stirrup.
Now, if you or I were saddled and being exercised by our insect overlord and happened to catch a stirrup in the fence, we’d probably say, “Wait a minute, Master, I just need to get this loose here.” And then life would go on. This is why, in the absence of interstellar conquerers, humans rule the planet and horses wear saddles. Because Avalon’s reaction was to instantly assume she was being attacked.
Horses have three possible responses to attack:
(A) Run Away.
(B) Fight.
(C) (most common when (A) doesn’t work out) Freak Out And Break Shit.
I watched Avalon go from (A) to (C), more or less in the blink of an eye. And in far less time than it takes to tell, she turned the round pen into a sort of crescent-moon pen.
I had my camera right there, but was suddenly rather busy and didn’t think to get it out until the aftermath.
Here’s something I’ve learned from many years of casual observation. In a manner similar but not identical to the way dogs are social animals, horses are social animals. They’re herd beasts, and while dogs seem to find it easier to accept humans into their packs than horses do, horses do indeed do that. Once a horse has accepted you as a superior member of its herd, it cedes to you control over certain important existential matters. These include but are not limited to quarters, rations, weather, and Whatever The Hell Just Unexpectedly Grabbed My Stirrup.
So when H entered Avalon’s visual range, and before Avalon could turn the crescent-moon pen into a C-shaped pen, Avalon resorted to
(D) Let The Human Handle It.
I’ve seen them do this before. Don’t get me wrong – Avalon is capable of completely losing her shit with far less provocation than this. But in a situation in which a horse that has a human in its herd encounters something genuinely frightening, as opposed to the normal sort of thing that scares horses for no apparent reason, a horse that has a human may suddenly become Very Cooperative.
This is not the same as and should not be mistaken for Calm. The horse is not Calm, and may revert back to (C) at any moment. But as long as she thinks you’ve got it handled, she’ll let you handle it.
Avalon’s fine. The round pen is only slightly damaged. But it took four humans and several minutes to undo what one horse did to it in about three seconds.
Livestock can certainly do a good job of destroying property really quickly. Many years ago, my aunt was feeding one of her husband’s Red Brangus cows ‘cattle cubes’ through the fence gate. The cow became impatient with my aunt and stuck its head through the gate to get to the food quicker. It raised its head, butmped the back of its head against one of the rails and realized ‘I’m trapped’ and ripped the gate right off the hinges in to get away. Dumb cow – it put itself in that predicament and humans are fixing it up – typical. Then again, my Uncle pointed out if his wife had kept the bag way back, it probably wouldn’t have occurred in 1st place.
Sometimes horses hit a combination of all three. As a youngster I was attacked by a stray dog. It was a german elsa, a big dog for an adult to fight off let alone a skinny 10 year old. Our shire horse, a huge beast by any standards started to freak out on the other side of the hawthorn hedge. The next second Gel literally ran through the hedge and struck the dog in the head with his front hooves, crushing its skull instantly. Most horses in panic mode would have then fled but Gel stopped and allowed me to pull myself up on him by his mane. My leg was bleeding badly by then and I would never have made it back to the house with out him as it was I lost two pints of blood. Over the years my parents spent thousands on him with the vet as he grew older and his health deteriorated but no one ever grumbled we all knew I literally owed him my life!
Sometimes the bond is greater than that of dogs.
Liberal Gun-Grabbers do the same thing. Except, there are no humans in their corral.
Just my $0.02, but that’s why I prefer jackasses to horses, and also why I presentlyown neither.
If you spend enough time around livestock you can see some pretty interesting things.
A friend of mine received his promotion to ranch manager after the previous manager died instantly after getting kicked in the head by a horse – 20 people all standing around couldn’t do a thing.
My grandfather – in charge of facilities and infrastructure on a large ranch – still working in his early 80s – was killed by a runaway bull. He was working on something a hundred yards away in the corrals and one got loose from the hands long enough to make a break in his direction. Couldn’t get out of the corrals fast enough – gone within minutes.
However misguided Garrison Keeler may be in his views of social order and politics – he’s been known to mention in his storytelling the value of having the right mindset for working around animals that outweigh you tenfold or more.
The phrase “dangerous on both ends and uncomfortable in the middle” comes to mind. When we had horses, they figured out real fast that I wasn’t a horse fancier and boy did they love to hassle me. The mule didn’t care whether or not I liked him as long as I kept showing up with food. I didn’t miss any of them when they were gone.
Being caught or restrained and then panicking is a common horse problem. Many folks try to teach the horse to yield to pressure, but as you saw, instinct will usually win.
On several occasions my mare has come to me when something is scary, and she will calm down just because I’m there talking to her, just as Avalon settled when H took charge. The horse always needs a leader to trust. And the humans have to expect the unexpected.
And sometimes there is no human in their herd. I love horses, but I have learned (the hard way) not to trust them… so this story is a real mystery. When my boys were very small, we lived with a good sized bunch of range horses just “next door.” The fence was poor, and they got out regularly. They could not be approached or handled, and the owner would come round them up with several very competent dogs an fence mending tools.
Anyway, one afternoon my three year old got away from me while I was hanging clothes and I saw him go toward that fence. The horses were usually right there and he just loved them. The younger boy was only a little more than a year old, just walking. Scott had gotten tangled a little in some loose wire at the fence, so I set the baby down for a moment to use both hands.
In a flash, the little one had crawled through the fence and was soon sitting among the horse’s legs. I expected them to panic or at least run away, and watched in terror without a clue what to do, since I knew that any loud noise or fast motion on my part (like screaming and fainting) would surely panic them.
Those semi-wild horses stood absolutely still while that baby patted their legs and cooed at them for several minutes. He never did attempt to stand, which I was glad for. In any case, I kept calling to him gently, promising him all sorts of stuff, and eventually he crawled out from among the horse legs toward me. The instant he was clear, the horses turned abruptly and dashed away…
Our back yard had a sturdy fence itself soon after that.