EPA Employees Told to Stop Pooping in the Hallway
No, it’s not The Onion. The nice thing about our government these days is that I don’t really have to come up with snarky commentary. How could I possibly improve on this?
Environmental Protection Agency workers have done some odd things recently.
Contractors built secret man caves in an EPA warehouse, an employee pretended to work for the CIA to get unlimited vacations and one worker even spent most of his time on the clock looking at pornography.
It appears, however, that a regional office has reached a new low: Management for Region 8 in Denver, Colo., wrote an email earlier this year to all staff in the area pleading with them to stop inappropriate bathroom behavior, including defecating in the hallway.
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Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions.
Personally I think this is the best part of the story right here. Confronted with this situation, the best management could think to do was hire a consultant. Who informed them that, yes, this sort of behavior is indeed undesirable.
Any company I ever worked for, we’d have just caught the guy and kicked his ass out. Us, I mean. The people who had to work there. We wouldn’t have waited for management.
Were they trained NOT to poop in the hallway? If they weren’t, then how can you expect them to not to poop in the hallway? I’m just glad we are ruled by such quality people!
Title reference noted.