…which only manifests when I’m falling down. Other discomfitures don’t bring it on: Just a minute ago I scalded myself with hot oil, and only said “Ow.” Granted I said it rather loudly, but still. Probably acceptable behavior anywhere, given the circumstances.
But when I’m in the process of falling down, I instantly and involuntarily start shouting variations on the f-word. This continues until I actually hit the ground. It’s weird, and normally has no particular social consequence because of course normally no aberrant practice of mine including the carrying of really aggressive-looking rifles while completely nude has any social consequence. Social repercussions require an audience.
I’ve noticed it before, but it really does seem to have become consistent. Day before yesterday my right foot slipped out from under me on a slope: My left leg buckled, my prosthesis came off, and it was quite a long bumpy way down and I do recall that during the entire kinetic phase of the disaster I droned “F*ck” over and over. Happened a couple of weeks ago when I tripped over Little Bear, who had jinked into my path at the sight of a rabbit, while juggling a basket of eggs. (I and not LB was doing the juggling, in case you found the previous sentence confusing.)
Last weekend I forgot something very important about Neighbor D’s portable generator: He mounted it on this trick little cart, which is very cool and I admire it to the point of envy and avarice, but it does have one small disadvantage in that nothing around here is level. I brought it back to his place on the Jeep trailer, unhooked the tie-down without considering consequences, and instantly found myself in a wrestling match with the cart which decided to unload itself from the trailer in an informal manner. I lost the match and sailed off the back of the trailer with the cart, bellowing “F*ck!” all the way down.
Neither I nor the generator were harmed in that one – I’m still recovering from the spill of two days ago – but it was intensely embarrassing. Neighbor D is a laid-back sort of Christian, and it is impolite to howl obscenities in his yard while he’s right over there.
But mostly, I don’t know how this habit developed. I’m not normally very profane.
Well darned if I didn’t have to look up another one. I need to get out more. And although I do use the F word often enough(mostly muttered under my breath), I really do prefer the S word as my mainstay, sometimes referred to as the most useful word in the English language.
http://www.funzug.com/index.php/humor/most-useful-word-in-the-english-language.html
Heh – I had to look it up, too. Knew there was a word for it, didn’t know what the word was.
Joel, you sound perfectly normal to me. The f-word is a universal noun, adjective, verb, modifier, whatever you need at the moment. Too bad it’s usually followed by the thought “this is gonna hurt”.
Where I work (local Junior College) the f-word is as common as “like” was amongst the hippies and the Valley Girls. Closely followed by the n-word (almost exclusively used by the melanin-enhanced population).
Every day I’m leaning closer and closer to following Joel’s example and moving to West Texas to build myself a compound and try to shut off all physical contact with the rest of the world. When the epitome of the profane carries no more emotional or social significance than a generic “darn”, you can be sure that the social fabric has decayed nearly to the point of complete failure.
I’d add “ubiquitous obscenity and profanity” to Heinlein’s list of indicators of a dying culture:
“A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.” – R. A. Heinlein
Just claim that you have Tourette’s syndrome. Medical “problems” are an excuse for almost anything these days…
}:-]
BWAhaha!