I’m off to the big town about 50 miles away for some eye tests. Later, if I can stay out of prison and find my way back, I’ll cheerfully discuss the way my need for regular eyeball examinations dovetails so seamlessly with the way my personal space stretches for yards and involves firearms.



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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Joel, by now your ophthalmologist and the associated staff should be first-name acquaintances. Mine certainly are, and I get to go see them on Monday. Oh, the anticipation.
Presumably it’s not a gun-free zone like the VA where I go every frickin’ three months for an eyeball thing.
In theory it’s a gun free zone, there’s a sign on the door that says so. But that one time I had to take off my jacket to get my blood pressure checked there was a .45 1911 right there somehow anyway. Nobody got upset.
Hey Joel I know how important eyesight can be and I hope the new drops work There are a lot of folks out there who like and respect you. If you need it do a bleg, don’t be silly.
Keep your stick on the ice.