Principal Seymour Skinner earns his spurs…

…and a good swift kick.

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Seymour and his hens are molting right now, and not showing to best advantage. He’s normally a fine figure of a Rhode Island Red cock, and not this bedraggled.

But I confess I’d given up waiting for him to grow a set of spurs. Noticed he didn’t have any, and didn’t give it much further thought. But he has a pair now, boy, and yesterday evening he took it into his pea brain to use them.

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To be fair, I probably gave him cause but it’s nothing I haven’t done a thousand times before. Adie was clamoring to be picked up. I bend down to pick her up, and without warning Seymour flew up and scored me across the back of my hand. Did no harm, just left a little mark, and it earned him his first punting across the chicken yard. For a cock bird that’s already a year and a half old, that’s actually quite a long spell of pacifism.

But I wanted him to understand – if a chicken can be made to understand anything not food-related – that aggression against the human is the fastest possible road to the oven. One of the things I’ve always liked about Seymour is that I don’t always have to watch my back around him.

Or I didn’t, before yesterday. He’s on report now, boy.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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6 Responses to Principal Seymour Skinner earns his spurs…

  1. Kentucky says:

    It may not be how you wish to address the issue, but I have read in several places that the spurs can “easily” be removed with a pair of pliers . . . for certain values of “easily”.

  2. Joel says:

    If the spurs become a problem it’ll be because the bird they’re attached to is a problem. People remove spurs to keep cock birds from injuring one another when they fight. More than one in a flock will fight. But a cock that attacks the hens or the owner needs to be culled. Seymour’s protective of the hens – his only real function – and he never gave me trouble before. So he can keep his spurs. It’s his head he has to worry about.

  3. Ben says:

    “Seymour’s protective of the hens”

    Protective of his harem you mean?

    Although I’m sure that your intentions toward that hen were totally honorable, Seymour might have seen you as the competition.

  4. Joel says:

    Protective of his harem you mean?

    Yes of course. He’s a rooster. What else do you think he thinks they’re for?

  5. Zelda says:

    Male hormones in action. Tsk. Unless you have access to a pressure cooker, he’s not going to be worth eating (or edible) if you do off him. I’d expect him to attack you again…but happy calm hens are worth a lot to you.

  6. Mark Matis says:

    And don’t forget he’ll give his life to protect his (your) hens from an intruder. That might give you enough time to grab a gun and exterminate whatever it was that got him. Unless, of course, you kill him before then…

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