A Song of Desert Suckage

[old-timey blues voice]

Well I moved to the desert
(duh DAH dah dum)
And I took a look around
(duh DAH dah dum)
Shoulda ran back to the city
(duh DAH dah dum)
Without making a sound!
Cause I got the bluuuues
I got the desert suckage blues!
I got them breakin’ my back with a shovel
‘Cause some guy wanted an earth-bermed house blues!

My dog jumped outa the pickup
(duh DAH dah dum)
My wellhouse got a subway sign
(duh DAH dah dum)
Thought I’d move to the desert
(duh DAH dah dum)
But I was way outa line!
Cause I got the bluuuues
I got the desert suckage blues!
I got them how the hell do I explain that
I gotta be someplace else blues!

Dug up a big-ass rock now
(duh DAH dah dum)
Biggest rock I ever seen
(duh DAH dah dum)
Gotta call up Clark Kent now
(duh DAH dah dum)
Justa get that rock off the scene!
Cause I got the bluuuues
I got the desert suckage blues!
I got them gotta go back to Archimedes
just ta move a fuckin’ rock blues!

My batt’ries they all dead now
(duh DAH dah dum)
They give up without a fight
(duh DAH dah dum)
Run my genny for eight hours
(duh DAH dah dum)
Just to get me some light!
Cause I got the bluuuues
I got the desert suckage blues!
I got them eighteen long-ass miles
from the nearest grid-power blues!

My dog got bit by a rattler
(duh DAH dah dum)
Coyotes ate up my cat
(duh DAH dah dum)
There ain’t nobody round here
(duh DAH dah dum)
Who cares what I think o’that!
‘Cause I got the bluuues
I got the desert suckage blues!
I got them what the hell was I thinking
Low-down, desert, suckage, blues!
(duh DAH DAH dummmm)

[/old-timey blues voice]

Thank yew. Thank yew vera much.