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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Previous OPSEC Violations
My buddies and I have cut up a bunch of deer with reciprocating saws. I tried a skill saw but that made too much mess.
I’m going to remember that when I get hungry enough to bring in a muley. Or a cow or something…
And the reciprocal, an electric carving knife is nearly ideal for cutting blocks of polyethylene foam. I’ve used them for black foam in custom equipment cases, upholstery foam to make cushions for oddly-shaped built-in window seats, shaped foam to replace the foam in worn-out car driver seats, etc.
On two occasions, however, I’ve had my good foam-cutting electric knife disposed of because a woman in my life found it when I wasn’t home. I think the logic is “this is a kitchen tool so it shouldn’t be in the garage, but I don’t want this one in my kitchen, so it must go”.
Just remember, Joel, to do that near some neighbor’s home. Especially if you go the cow route. No sense leaving the rest of the carcass where it might be incriminating.
Wonder if your troublesome neighbor with the dogs would be an appropriate location…
}:-]
There are meat specific blades available that use the same shank, but with the teeth reversed to prevent getting a lot of meat dust in the saw. Not inexpensive, that’s for sure, although I imagine the should last a good long while. Cabela’s has them listed as a 3 blade combo pack for $29.99.
Also, I’ve never seen it myself, but a buddy who lived in Alaska for a long time told tales of guys with dedicated moose chainsaws. There’s a waitlist for roadkill moose up there, and you have a certain amount of time to bring it in, so there’s a cottage industry around guys with a chainsaw full of crisco for bar oil that will part out your moose so you can load it up properly. Apocryphal, but certainly not impossible.
Pruning saw or a bow saw if you need the width. It’s as quiet as you can be – and sharp enough.
Don’t want to make any extra noise for those showing up for your ‘sneakiness classes’. Plus – it’ll niche right in with the ‘apocalypse jerky’ venture!