The world goes mad as Joel gloats in his Secret Lair.

No, you can’t come to stay.

Santa Barbara Bans Plastic Straws, Authorizes $1,000 Fines and Jail Time for Violators

When Seattle became the first major city in the United States to ban plastic straws in September 2017, it carved out an exemption for compostable plastic straws and made any violation an infraction punishable by a $250 fine. Santa Barbara, by contrast, has banned even compostable straws, permitting only drinking tubes made from nonplastic materials such as paper, metal, or bamboo. The city also has made a second violation* of its straw prohibition both an administrative infraction carrying a $100 fine and a misdemeanor, punishable by a maximum fine of $1,000 and up to six months in jail. Each contraband straw or unsolicited plastic stirrer counts as a separate violation, so fines and jail time could stack up quickly.

In other news, California announces its new program allowing residents to “temporarily” leave the state to find work, so long as family members are left in protective custody to ensure taxes are still paid.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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10 Responses to The world goes mad as Joel gloats in his Secret Lair.

  1. Robert says:

    WTH is wrong with CA politicians?
    I predict desperate homeless folk will wave plastic straws in front of city hall as a means of getting 6 months of free housing.

  2. Jean says:

    Shall we all go hoard plastic straws now? When straws are outlawed, only outlaws have straws.

  3. Mike says:

    And just think, the ban evil straws movement was started by a 9 year old boy with no real evidence to back it up,

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2018/07/18/anti-straw-movement-based-unverified-statistic-500-million-day/750563002/

  4. Zelda says:

    Love it, Jean. I’m waiting for the poster.

  5. Ben says:

    I can see it now… You’ve been thrown in the “big house” for a Straw Violation. You are trying to look tough because a big guy named “Bruno” (picture a shaved head and tattoos on thick arms) is taking an unnatural interest in your anatomy.

    So finally Bruno folds his arms and asks the dreaded question, “Watcha in for Dude?”

  6. Kentucky says:

    . . . and creating a nuisance.

    😉

  7. Joel says:

    “…the meanest father-raper of them all…”

  8. Calm down everybody. You can still poop on the streets.

  9. Adnrew says:

    Heh. Good use for those flying drone thingys. Use them to drop straws on people’s property, get them arrested, so forth and so on.

    Drive by strawings.

    Straw pushers.

    The ‘crimes’ just write themselves.

  10. Kentucky says:

    Carrying a concealed straw . . .

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