The internet is hard.

So I heard there was this general, right? And I never really paid any attention to this general, because unless I wake to find them surrounding the Secret Lair with tanks or something generals don’t interest me. They come and they go, but not much around here. No, that wasn’t supposed to be a sexual pun.

But now I hear I’m supposed to care who he’s been “all in” with, and that somehow this has to do with that murderous business in Libya that totally wasn’t the president’s fault. And it was that business about Libya that finally sent me surfing because how could a gloryhound general boinking his ghostwriter possibly have anything to do with an absurdly undefended consulate in Libya, right?

An hour or two later I still don’t know what those two things have to do with each other. But it does seem that everybody’s been banging everybody in the wonderfully libidinous world our masters inhabit, and nobody invited me. Funny, up until a week ago I was led to understand they all care about me very deeply.

Anyway, our story so far (Joel’s edition): We’ve got this general, who happened to be director of the for-god’s-sake CIA, and his hanger-on de-stressing one another with hotblooded American abandon. And somehow this led to talk about a Marine general and his stress-relief efforts which involved a whole bunch of “sensitive” emails or something. And then the brave men and women of the FBI got into the act, possibly because the adulterers were doing it wrong, I’m a little fuzzy on this point. And at least one of them found the whole thing so stimulating that he couldn’t keep his own clothes on, and it all magically and mysteriously came to light immediately after an election that could have gone either way, and that’s not suspicious at all.

Got all that? Because I’m lost.

And I still don’t know what any of it has to do with Libya.