Okay, so Zoe likes to be under the blankets.

That’s perfectly rational, and I don’t mind at all as long as she stays still and lets me sleep. Which she often does.

When she doesn’t, things can turn weird. Several times I’ve awoken to somebody under my chin, enthusiastically licking or maybe chewing my beard. If I let that stand for even a few seconds she starts wanting to knead. Complete with claws, of course. And she gets positively manic about it.

We’ve had some strenuous disagreements over whether that’s proper behavior. Quite aside from the fact that it frickin’ tickles, I have dreams about waking up with half my beard gone.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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7 Responses to Okay, so Zoe likes to be under the blankets.

  1. MamaLiberty says:

    Maybe find something she doesn’t like to smell and rub a little into your beard at night? On the other hand… I’m not sure just what that might be… You’d probably not like the smell of it either!

    Laddie now sleeps on his pad by my bed, and just last night discovered how fun it is to give mom the cold nose shock treatment when my hand happened to drop over the edge in the middle of the night.

    Animals… LOL

  2. Claire says:

    Awwwwww, Joel. She thinks you’re her sweet, furry Mommy. You can’t reject her now, can you?

    Claire (who spends her nights sandwiched between a dog and a cat, both of whom fortunately know better than to get too friendly before 5:00 a.m.)

  3. Bear says:

    She’s probably licking, not chewing. She’s grooming you. Yuki and Jigsaw both used to groom my hair when I was trying to sleep. Actually… it felt OK. Like a tiny little scalp massage. I could live with that. It was Jigsaw _batting_ at my face when she figured it was time for me to wake up and play that irked me. And she was still doing that at 14 years old.

  4. Joel says:

    Claire, how do you keep ending up with cats? You hate cats.

  5. Claire says:

    Joel, cats know I hate them. That’s precisely why they’re always all over me. They’re evil beasts who live to make their enemies miserable.

    And well … this one was given to me and she’s actually … I mean, I hate to admit it and all … slightly loveable.

  6. Matt says:

    She’s tasting you. If you get snowed in and rations run out, she’ll taste, and taste and taste…

  7. LJH says:

    I’m thinking you should be happy she’s fixated on your beard and not any of the more sensitive bits, just sayin’ …

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