Couple lost in corn maze calls 911
Getting lost in a corn maze is supposed to be fun.
But it turned into a nightmare for a Massachusetts couple who got so lost that they had to be rescued by the police.
I feel better about myself now. I may occasionally set fire to my home in comically moronic ways, but I have never had to be rescued from a corn field*.
H/T to Unc, who correctly points out that corn rows can be walked through, in a pinch.
*Okay, full disclosure: I did once have to be rescued from a corn field. But a truck was parked on top of me at the time…
I suddenly feel a little better about all the stupid sh@t ive done in my life I may walk with a limp but I can still limp the f out of a corn field. Every time I think i have heard it all….
This is why up here in New Hampshire we don’t let Massholes into our corn mazes unless they have water, emergency rations, GPS, and sign a dumbass disclaimer.
Calling Mr. Darwin …..
God forbid these maroons ever have a real emergency.
I tried to put myself in their place and imagine why on earth they wouldn’t simply leave the defined part of the maze and push their way between the plants toward the lights they could clearly see.
Sure, corn leaves have sharp edges and they might have gotten a little scratched up, but obviously that wasn’t what stopped them. It sounds as if they never even thought about doing that.
I couldn’t get inside their heads (which I suppose is a good thing for all concerned). But it appears that it just plain never occurred to them that they could step off the defined path. The possibility didn’t exist for them. The path defined by others is The Path.
Whatever their problem, it’s the same thing that causes people in four cars to line up at one bank drive-up window (always the one closest to the building) when three others are standing wide open with big green “open” signs on them.
Tell you where it starts…
Had the true misfortune to be required to go into a grammar “school” building the other day. (was NOT my choice)
Sign on the wall – as one left the lobby area (paraphrased because I don’t remember exactly):
Hall Rules
Stand in line outside classroom door and wait for your teacher
Do not talk loudly
Do not touch or disturb others
No food or drink in the hallway
Only it was all parsed in the touchy/feely language of “We” don’t do this or that…and how important it was to be quiet, good citizens.
Made me want to barf… and I was already nauseated at being there.
Try getting locked inside a corn maze when the staff all leave for the day. With your SO In a power wheelchair and she needs to go pee. I was not amused. I dismantled the fence before the police got there. Always carry your multitool, kids.