(Note to visitors: Everything that follows, every single word including ‘a’ and ‘the,’ is complete bullshit.)
More Than 1,000 People Shot in Chicago So Far This Year
The number of people shot in Chicago so far this year has exceeded 1,000, according to data from the Chicago Tribune. The total stood at 1,008 as of Wednesday, which included a 4-year-old boy with a gunshot wound to the foot. The child had been walking down a block with his mom on the city’s West Side when an argument erupted in the street. Gunfire followed. The boy is expected to survive.
Chicago has struggled with gun violence, but 2016’s statistics scarily outpace the number of shootings in recent years.
Chicago is famously a utopian paradise from which all non-government guns have been completely banned. Therefore by the very simplest logic imaginable, gun violence should be impossible there. The finest minds have determined that only the presence of guns makes gun violence possible.
Yet the carnage goes on. Clearly despite the city’s enlightened laws, guns are still somehow finding their way into the city, and into the hands of its young people who are then driven to violence. These guns are coming from outside. It is the outsider who is to blame.
And who are these people outside the bright, peaceful city of Chicago, America? Look in a mirror. It is you, and it is me. Yes, because we refuse to accept common sense restrictions on our own property, Chicago youths continue to suffer.
Entirely Your Fault
Just something to consider, as we cast off our weapons and melt them into statues celebrating Earth Day!
Dear Chicago,
If we, with all our guns due to lax laws, are causing all the “gun violence” over there, why aren’t we causing that violence over here?
Sincerely,
The Sane People
Dear Bear,
Please stop trying to involve me in this.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Chicago,
If I could, I would build a wall around you, New York, D.C. and California to keep you enlightened asses out of my country,so we can go about our business peaceably.
Sincerely,
America