Second thought: But then I’d be surrounded by idiots.
Third thought: But I actually bought a few of these, back in the foggy mists of time when I was alone in a company-paid apartment in Socal that had a fireplace. So who’s the idiot?
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Joel, almost everyone starts out an idiot, at some level. Sure you bought it, but you learned – at some point. Idiots are everywhere, but it takes stupid not to learn from that. You are NOT stupid. 🙂
There actually are a handful of times that I have bought firewood, but not for home heating purposes, or even for cooking. If you live in an urban area and want the occasional fireplace fire for the ambiance, that’s what you do.
You might be surrounded by idiots, but you’d have pockets full of money. Someone has to do it.
The ones that kill me are the folks who stop for this kind of firewood on their way to go camping in the national forest where there’s enough deadwood to keep campfires going for eons. And most of that deadwood can just be picked up off the ground, easy peasy ready to go.
Reformed, you’ve now lived and learned more. I live in small city, and walk buy mesquite wood ‘carbon’ plastic wrapped $7.00 packages. Have a whole dang ranch of that stuff to go to and the owner doesn’t mind if I take some home so I guess I’m lucky there.
Like coloradoherit, I’ve seen the campers that buy wood when they go to the woods. But I give them some credit – I don’t see many people exchanging pleasantries over a loud gas stove, as efficient and convenient as it is.
The state park to which I used to go for camping purposes expressly forbade the burning of deadfall. It was annoying. We just trucked in wood from elsewhere, but I don’t recall that I ever actually *bought* any.
I have heard those bundles called “sexwood”.
Presumably little bundles of shrinkwrapped wood are for a fire in a McMansion’s fireplace; a use that’s more about ambiance than heat. Nothing like a fireplace to set the scene for a little canoodling. Hence the name.
Bad plan coloradohermit. Unless you have a woodcutting permit, you’d better be ready to prove that you’re not leaving federal ground with that wood, or you’re in line for a $250 fine if you get caught.
You can buy 250 sticks of this designer firewood for that.
Of course, getting a woodcutting permit is super easy. Just go to your local national forest office between the hours of 8 am to 330pm to pick it up!