It’s not the guards in this asylum that worry me, it’s the inmates.

I knew the guards were going to be all “I don’t write the laws, I just enforce them,” and “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time,” and “just obey all my commands and I won’t have to kill you.” I’ve hated them all my life, but I can deal with them.

No, it’s my fellow inmates that get under my skin. I worked with a guy – whom I happen to know was an enthusiastic poacher – who got all schadenfreudish whenever he heard about somebody busted for driving without a license. I know a lady – for whom I otherwise have a very high opinion – who gets upright and pearl-clutching every time she sees an ATV on the road without a tag. These people, I don’t know how to deal with. They make me nervous. They’re snitches in waiting, every one. And everybody – me not least – has things that could be snitched about, given only a disgruntled neighbor and a cop who needs a bust.

What gets me thinking along these lines, this otherwise very fine morning, is this piece right here. It’s about a guy who posted a Youtube video on how easy it is to monkeywrench stoplight cameras. Was there ever such a victimless crime? I ask you. And yet…

According to Patch.com, a dirty, no-good snitch ratted out the fearless freedom fighter to local police, who then arrested him for the crime (of?) loving liberty:

Okay, sure, I know. You post a video showing you committing a crime against the state’s revenue, you can expect a boot on your face. Duh. That’s a given. I wondered, though, how far I’d need to read into the comments on that Patch.com post before I found somebody like the neighbors mentioned above…

I have a 100% foolproof way to avoid getting dinged by these cameras: don’t run red lights. I have never received a summons. I drive safely 100% of the time. None of the commenters who are in favor of this guy’s actions have said they were falsely cited. “Take back the power”, huh?. Are you talking about the power to violate traffic safety laws? Jerk.

Yeah, didn’t take long.

It’s not a new peeve with me. Look, I fully understand the desire to live in peace, even with the guv. Everybody does what he can to achieve that, and I don’t break laws just for the sheer voluptuous joy of being a lawbreaker. I need a reason, at least. But long and long, I am unable to say “law-abiding citizen” as if it’s a compliment.

BTW, Claire’s book about the wonders of snitching is still available.