Milo Yiannopoulos should stop tearing the hearts from the living bodies of students during his college speeches.

‘Cause, like, it hurts, man*!

I gather that’s what he’s doing, judging from the tenor of this article. Aren’t there laws about that? No, seriously, hear the anguished cries of the few scattered survivors!

Marcus Robinson, president of Pitt’s Rainbow Alliance, said after leaving the lecture on Monday, he felt unsafe on campus for the first time.

“So many of us shared in our pain. I felt I was in danger, and I felt so many people in that room were in danger. This event erased the great things we’ve done,” Robinson said[, sucking his thumb while holding a scrap of old blanket to his face]. “For the first time, I’m disappointed to be at Pitt.”

Robinson suggested that the University should have provided counselors in a neighboring room to help students who felt “invalidated” or “traumatized” by the event.

Other students suggested that the Board research the speakers before it makes an allocations decision or warn students if the speaker will contain content that could be racist or violent or focus on rape and sexual assault. In response to the lecture, students expressed interest in holding a committee to discuss how to prevent future issues.

Boy*, those must be some racy-ass lectures, to say nothing of the horrifying violence that can so traumatize a whole roomful of kids whose sensibilities were already deadened by childhoods wasted on Captain Planet reruns.


*The words our writer has chosen in these instances are intended in a colloquial sense, as if speaking to one who identified as cismale. Any modifier may be substituted. Don’t hate us, sis. The writer has been admonished, dismissed, and is currently undergoing sensitivity reeducation in our Northern Minnesota facility.

ETA: Oh, lord…

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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6 Responses to Milo Yiannopoulos should stop tearing the hearts from the living bodies of students during his college speeches.

  1. Kentucky says:

    In a related event, Marybeth Clapsaddle of the United Personhood of Aggrieved Adolescents set up a booth offering psychiatric help for five cents.

  2. Guy says:

    This is an absolute joke. You want a counselor because somebody said something that offended you, how immature can you be? Or are you just angry because he points out that white males aren’t really responsible for everything on this planet. College is to grow as a human being by observing all viewpoints and choosing which one you believe in yourself. Now people don’t even want to allow free speech. This has passed the point of being amusing and is getting far too close for comfort to 1984, which I’d hope everyone has read. All this talk about “not offending” anyone is really just a movement to try to sensor speech so nobody can disagree with the govt viewpoint.

    On to the gender issue,
    If you had your DNA tested and you have XY chromosomes, you are, by the scientific definition, a male. If you have XX chromosomes, then by the scientific definition, you are a female. No exceptions. You can’t change every single strand of DNA in your body so you can’t change your gender.

  3. Guy says:

    This got deleted once because you can’t handle dissenting opinions that use logic and make sense, so I’ll try It one more time.

    This is an absolute joke. You want a counselor because somebody said something that offended you, how immature can you be? Or are you just angry because he points out that white males aren’t really responsible for everything on this planet. College is to grow as a human being by observing all viewpoints and choosing which one you believe in yourself. Now people don’t even want to allow free speech. This has passed the point of being amusing and is getting far too close for comfort to 1984, which I’d hope everyone has read. All this talk about “not offending” anyone is really just a movement to try to sensor speech so nobody can disagree with the govt viewpoint.

    On to the gender issue,
    If you had your DNA tested and you have XY chromosomes, you are, by the scientific definition, a male. If you have XX chromosomes, then by the scientific definition, you are a female. No exceptions. You can’t change every single strand of DNA in your body so you can’t change your gender.

  4. Sam says:

    Woah woah there bud, did you see all the bloodstains at the first Milo talk at Rutgers? I expect fully that there had to be at least five bodies to produce that amount of carnage. I’d be traumatized too, seeing poor defenseless women whose faces are covered in the blood of Milo’s victims screaming in fear as they leave the massacre.

  5. Robert says:

    When the KKK came to my town and speechified on the courthouse steps, I was free to ignore them and believe whatever-the-heck I wanted about them. Pitt has some precious snowflakes allright.

    Guy: try decaff.

  6. Empathizer says:

    I think your misinterpretingwhat they’re saying. They’re scared cause he’s opened their eyes to the real problems College/University campuses hold if you’re a straigh whote male. They are afraid cause they realize that they’re essentially targets for the femenists’ “Honey Traps”

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