Wisconsin Assembly approves bill legalizing rubber duck races
MADISON, Wis. — A bill legalizing rubber duck races in Wisconsin is moving closer to the finishing line.
The state Assembly approved the measure Thursday on a voice vote. The bill now goes to the state Senate.
No, it’s not a parody.
I wonder if lawmakers ever notice how $#@! silly they are.
They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Aristippus passed Diogenes as he was washing lentils.
He said, “If you could but learn to flatter the king, you would not have to live on lentils.”
Diogenes said, “And if you could learn to live on lentils, you would not have to flatter the king.”
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For your business or your name
Tell him to go and fuck himself
Tell his friends to do the same.
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For a safe and dreamless sleep
Doesn't deserve the both of them
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ESSE QUAM VIDERI –
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Well, at least they didn’t do anything crazy, like decriminalize it. Master’s gotta retain options.
I mean, I’ve seen duck races before, man. Those things just float down the river under absolutely no control at all!
Hmmm, actually “silly” is usually when it’s just for fun. I’ll bet these guys were serious about it.
Meanwhile, in Wyoming the legisgators were asked to consider making the chocolate chip cookie the “state cookie.” It’s a catastrophe, I tell you! The bill didn’t make it out of committee – because this is a budget year and they don’t often consider non-budget items. I’m sure they’ll give it the proper amount of serious consideration next year. Mega-sigh…
It will pass, but all ducks will require an emissions test, disc brakes all round and a yearly mechanical safety check. A special section of the DMV will conduct a test to license all owner of plastic ducks. Each duck will, naturally, require yearly front and rear registration plates to allow the new duck patrol officers to easily identify unlicensed unsafe ducks. See how government makes things easier for you.
Are you sure that they’re not importing jobsworth loons from the EU?
This is how the pros do it . . .
http://www.cincinnatiusa.com/Attractions/detail.asp?AttractionID=508&Attraction=Rubber+Duck+Regatta+at+Sawyer+Point+Park
🙂
Read this and thought of you – http://www.activistpost.com/2014/02/mountain-man-back-in-jail-supporters.html …
Heh – I’m not quite that publicly curmudgeonly. But I respect the cojones of anyone who is.