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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Author Archives: Joel
NRA to bumpstock users: While you’re under the bus, could you have a look at the ball joints?
NRA calls for ATF review of bump stocks, new regulations after Las Vegas shooting Utterly unprincipled, utterly cynical, and a relatively cheap way to give cover to their expensive politicians. Oh, but don’t worry. Trump’s on your side. Just behind … Continue reading
I despise Apple.
Never really had an opinion about it before. Do as you will as long as you don’t harm me, that’s always been my motto. Or would be if I started having a motto. Then a good friend gave me an … Continue reading
Check your water
We pump our own water out of the ground here, using a well Ian paid Big Bux to have drilled, with a solar powered DC immersion pump… …through a whole bunch of flexible pipe into a big water tank… …and … Continue reading
The guy in the Rich Uncle Pennybags costume wins the whole Internets forever.
Hee… Someone dressed like the Monopoly guy is photobombing the Senate’s Equifax hearing
I like coming up here…
It’s getting back down that’s a pain in the ass. Yah, keep your “big sky country,” Montana. My sky’s plenty big. There are two ways to get here: The short, rocky, nearly vertical way and the long round-about way. I … Continue reading
It’s all about the dog urine, baby…
LB got a treat this morning. Daddy came down the ladder and we went straight out the door. It’s gonna be like that all week. I’ve got two sets of neighbors out of state and they’ve all got dogs (and … Continue reading
Unemployment comes swiftly in the Twitter Age…
Two headlines in quick succession First: Top CBS Exec: No Sympathy for Vegas Victims as ‘Country Music Fans Often are Republican Gun Toters’ Yeah! Those damned country music fans deserve to die! Republicans, every one. Gun toters. Church burners. Nazi … Continue reading
By all means, Hillary. Let us put politics aside.
But since I’m only being political in self defense, you first.
In which Joel once again proves himself an insufficiently caffeinated curmudgeon with zero people skills…
You know you’re a member of a persecuted minority when you see references to “the worst mass shooting in [American] history” and your only reaction is “Oh, hell. Here we go again.” Joel to MSM gasbags: I’ve never even been … Continue reading
This isn’t the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen…
…because I’ve seen a Resident Evil movie. But it’s close. Very, very close. Introducing the Pause Pod, your very own portable snowflake safe space. Enjoy. They ran a kick-starter to “invent” a $99 pop-up tent? Couldn’t you just use a … Continue reading
“We don’t want to hurt you, [Joel],…”
“We just want your compliance.” The conversation happened a long time ago, but it was sufficiently unpleasant that every time I see that word I’m reminded. A highwayman would say exactly the same thing – with exactly the same motive. … Continue reading
I had an epiphany this morning…
…a blinding flash of insight, informing me I don’t need to do one chore I’d planned for this morning, because that chore has been rendered obsolete. This is my wood cutting table. All summer it’s been at the Lair to … Continue reading
You know, when I said, “I don’t like portable generators…”
“…because only cool people have portable generators worth having…” …That wasn’t a bleg. 🙂 But I’ll take it. Guess what just showed up at the maildrop… An extremely generous long-time reader emailed me right after the post at the link … Continue reading
Winter is Coming…
And we’re getting into the season where for the first hour or two of the morning a good chore coat feels pretty good. …so this morning that nice new canvas coat came out of the powershed. Not everything stored in … Continue reading
I’m a sucker for a counterculture.
I wasn’t going to say anything here about the NFL kerfuffle, because a) I haven’t watched a football game in decades and b) the whole issue of patriotism is such a mess you’d need to start with “first let me … Continue reading
This paragraph encapsulates everything wrong with western civilization. Seriously.
(Right – and so does the website at the link. There’s an infuriating autoplay video ad FRICKIN’ RIGHT ON TOP OF THE INFURIATING AUTOPLAY VIDEO. SO IT’S TWO INFURIATING AUTOPLAYS ONE AFTER THE OTHER. IF THIS WEBSITE DOES NOT MAKE … Continue reading
Situational Awareness Explained
Uh…ladies? I dunno – maybe this is like the Century Village equivalent of taking Grandma out to the ice flow. Seems harsh, is all.
Landlady’s chickens will have to wait.
It’s been on-again-off-again rain since daybreak. This afternoon the sky was getting really threatening and I thought I’d better go take care of Landlady’s chickens early while I could do it and stay dry. Turned out it’s been raining heavily … Continue reading









































