#6 is gonna stink the place up…

I don’t know how mice are getting in and out of Ian’s powershed but they’re suddenly doing it in substantial numbers. And the only way I know to keep that from turning the place completely useless is jihad.

Here’s #5:

I got two kills – or at least two snaps – overnight and one dragged the trap away and I haven’t found it yet. So #6 is going to be a problem to say nothing of the loss of a nearly-new mousetrap. But…

…I know how to keep that from happening again.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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11 Responses to #6 is gonna stink the place up…

  1. MN Steel says:

    Bucket with a few inches of antifreeze, wire coat-hanger through a can secured across the top.

    Place a ramp up to the edge of the bucket, the can over the center of the bucket, and peanut butter on top of the can. Works better for me if the ramp is perpendicular to the can-wire.

    Empty dead mice when you can, add a bit of green-juice as necessary as it cuts the decomposition and smell down if they float for a while.

    It’s like a Ronco Oven, except for megadeath carcass removal.

  2. Mike says:

    I must admit that I’ve never heard of the word “jihad” being used to describe killing mice. That brought visions of you, Joel running around dressed like a Bedouin waving a scimitar over your head, screaming things in Arabic, slashing at the little furry bastards.

    I know this wasn’t your intention, but it did bring a smile to my sour old face. Thank you for that, and I hope you get the little furry rodents.

  3. paulb says:

    I like MN Steel approach to mice irradiation. I did get a chuckle on jihad against the rodents.

  4. Ben says:

    If you got two in one night, these likely weren’t canny indoor rodents, but rather country bumpkin rodents that are being attracted inside for some reason, but lack indoor survival skills.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Maybe a tiny crack under the door. Since you can sew (what I’ve done) is to take foam pipe insulation the width of the door x 2 ( one for inside and one for outside) make a sleeve out of durable material that fits both tubes + width of door. Place both tubes inside sleeve and the. With door open slide the barrier u def the door and into place. It blocks any space and easily slides open and closed.

  6. Jules from Wisconsin says:

    Joel, I’ve never commented here before, but I’ve been reading your blog for years. I am not even sure how I found you. Anyway, all this talk of mice reminds me of Zelda, when she used to get on your case about killing every mouse in sight. I haven’t seen her comment on here for a while, do you know what has happened to her?

  7. Joel says:

    Jules, I really don’t. Like you, talk of rodents naturally turned my mind to Zelda. It’s been a long time since I remember reading a comment from her.

  8. Jules from Wisconsin says:

    That’s too bad about Zelda, obviously something happened to her. If only we could know what happens to commenters.

  9. Joel says:

    No, not obvious. I’d guess most times somebody just gets tired of reading the same boring stuff on a blog.

  10. Stefan v. says:

    Excellent suggestions! May I humbly contribute:

    1. Capture a few mice and train them to be LGBTQXYZetc. Send them forth to corrupt the sexual morals of the rodent population. They’ll buttseks themselves out of existence within a generation or two.

    2. Continuing the jihad scheme, capture some more mice and brainwash them into fanatic islamice. This will work well with suggestion #1 as the mujamice thin the herd with religious fervour. You could supply them with little bomb vests crafted on your reloading bench, and snicker when you hear a mouse bathhouse orgy get blowed up in the late night desert stillness. Erect a few self serve miniature gallows in strategic positions and admire the dangling trannymouse corpses during morning walkies with Tobie. Be on guard when the female islamice steal your holey socks to make mouse burkas; that will mean they are breeding vigorously to supplant the degenerate sodomice from phase #1. Be not deterred, read on!

    3. Seek an especially crafty and malicious rat and supply him with a lethal pathogen and a propaganda team. Pay your Faucirat a commission of 1 gram of cheese for every mouse he convinces to accept the pathogen as a vaccine against some imaginary foul disease, perhaps blamed on the filthy perversions of the sodomice, or a heinous plot by the islamice to kill the infidels. Once the mice begin dying off, insist that the epidemic is due to unvaccinated mice and increase the pressure to vaccinate. At some point you can denounce him to the islamice and have them assassinate him, or if there are none left pay a freelance hitfox a few mice bodies to whack him.

    4. Be on guard against self organising militiamice. Infiltrate specially trained fibbimice to instigate sinister plots, then betray them to the department of agriculture. Use the Faucirat’s propaganda arm to accuse the militiarats of opposing the sodomice pro choice movement. The outraged squeaking will be epic, and the sodomice will feverishly begin aborting litters to exercise their constitutional right. The Faucirat can establish a lucrative sideline in providing free mouse abortion centres and use the harvested parts in his vaccine lab.

    5. Introduce white labrats, undocumented meximice, and african mice liberated from slavery in local petstores. Foment racial disharmony, support whatever BmLM, Mice13 and labrat supremacist hate and criminal groups that emerge. Stand back and guffaw as they burn down their own mouseholes and slay each other in a chaotic frenzy.

    6. Acquire a cat.

    There, that should keep you busily entertained and hopefully soon free of vermin. Personally, I suspect #6 is the most sensible solution, but don’t let me hold you back. Please provide photographs of your endeavours. Happy hunting!

  11. Jules from Wisconsin says:

    I’m not sure about your “reading boring stuff” comment, because if Zelda were okay I’m sure she would be cheering on your rodent jihad. She hated those suckers! Also, like I said I’ve been reading your blog for years and — it reminds me when I lived in New Mexico for bit. So keep writing even though you think it’s boring.

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