So H has already winged her way to the new place, far away from here. J’s father flew in at the same time she flew out, to help with final packing and drive one of their vehicles east. Things are wrapping up at Casa de J&H.
J called me yesterday and asked me to come by today at 10 for final detailed instructions on my caretaking duties. J (sometimes also known in these annals as Geiger Counter Guy) is big on detailed instructions. These covered three pages of small print. He greeted me at the inner gate.
“Ask me how I’m doing,” he said.
“How are you doing, J?”
“I’m stressed right the f*ck out.”
Having been there a time or two myself in the course of a peripatetic life, I could sympathize.
Anyway, we went over my duties in detail, as I said, and one of those details involved slip-sliding down a rocky and distressingly steep slope to go over the maintenance of the line to his leech field.
See, when you build on the edge of a high ridge you may find there’s room for the septic tank but not for its outlet. Which means you’re going to need a long and very steep pipe, and that the pipe will be impossible to bury because many many rocks, which means you’re going to get freeze/thaw cycles not to mention occasional rockslides, which means you’re going to get breaks, which means rats in the plumbing. Rats in the plumbing are bad.
But you knew that, right? Because things like that happen to you all the time. Who do I think I’m talking to? J was embarrassed by the fact that in the course of our inspection we actually did find a serious break. So I’ll be earning my pay rather sooner than anticipated, hanging from a frickin’ cliff by a rope with tools and a coupler kit.
J’s father met us as we clambered back up. J’s a middle-aged man and his father is far from young. Probably older than me, but he’s not shaggy and gray and hasn’t been left baking in the sun for a decade. I likely look older than he does, but daresay I’m in better condition than I look. He expressed doubt about the wisdom of leaving me to make such an unlikely repair alone in such an unlikely place, or indeed about the wisdom of any system that could ever need such repair, which (he strongly implied but didn’t actually say) would never be allowed in decent places.
I, in turn, did not actually hiss that ‘We’re not in decent placesss.” 
I merely smiled and said it’s no problem at all. I live here: ‘None of this is exotic to me.’
Though I am going to use a rope.
So you not only lost the “stuff”-shoveling job, but the Geiger-counter job as well?
Double bummer.
Joel just please remember that at our age (I’m 60 too) gravity is not our friend. I guess that I’m being selfish because after I started reading your blog I became hooked and I don’t want to have to find a replacement so be careful.
Well, the geiger counter job ground to a halt some years ago. The company refused to either upgrade or even sex up their badly outdated product, and in the wake of the surge in demand from the not-so-recent unpleasantness in Japan other companies rose and took their place.
Weren’t you still lately doing something with arsenic caps, or something like that, for Geiger counter guy?
And that dangling off a cliff sounds like a good project to undertake when Ian, D&L or Landlady are around to call in Flight for Life. Maybe even get the ex cop to watch your flank.
It’s not precisely dangling off a cliff. It’s my blog, and I’ll be hyperbolic if I want to. It’s a slope steep enough that sitting on your ass won’t keep you from sliding further downhill – to where there really is a cliff. And I used to go up and down slope/cliffs like this and worse all the time when the boys and I did our daily walkies. Still do from time to time. In fact the most direct path to the reloading shack is steep enough I strung 100′ of rope to make it easier and safer. This isn’t that unusual, guys. I’ve got lots of chances to break my neck.
What coloradohermit said. “used to” and “from time to time” are the key words. We don’t doubt your durability and skill. Breaking your neck would be better than lying somewhere for hours or days with a broken ankle, leg, back, arm, wrist or any other useful part. Even a sprain can seriously hamper your abiity to get back to a comfortable place. Having a spotter in case of difficulty is prudent, even for a desert/cedar rat. Think of the boys and the chickens without you, being hungry and without water, and do the job with someone around.
Is this what you use? http://www.homedepot.com/p/Fernco-4-in-EPDM-Rubber-Shielded-Coupling-PHD-44/100187576
Similar, but no.