Store Owner Fatally Shoots Thug With Box Cutter
Subject. Verb. Preposition. Dependant Clause. Mix. Match.
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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My grandfather was Dutch, and he used to say things like, “throw the horse over the fence some hay.” But even that made more sense. It is becoming increasingly painful to read anything in the “news.”
I feel cheated. I never managed to get a box cutter to even misfire. Damned things were only good for the sharp edge.
Begs the question . . . “What caliber box cutter for thug repelling?”
Headline writer needs to read Eats Shoots and Leaves..